Today, l took my new boyfriend to the place where my ex and I used to hook up, only to find out that my ex and his new girl had the same idea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10656) - you deserved it (37668)
On 02/22/2013 at 1:12am - intimacy - by wrongplacewrongtime - United States (Texas)
Today, a co-worker invited me to go out for lunch with him. I politely declined, saying I had too many errands to do. The truth is that I'm just too broke. I'll be buying myself a burrito using quarters I found on the floor of my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26822) - you deserved it (1923)
On 02/21/2013 at 3:45pm - money - by AKGrace (woman) - United States (Alaska)
Today, my dad opened a Chinese fortune cookie that read, "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." Now he won't stop calling me Experience. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30063) - you deserved it (2191)
On 02/05/2013 at 3:19pm - misc - by Experience (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, my brother was arrested for starting a fistfight at a funeral. He didn't even know the deceased; he's just been crashing funerals recently, hoping to hook up with mourners. I'm not sure who's more pathetic: him for doing such a thing, or me for bailing his fucking dumb arse out of jail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23479) - you deserved it (4933)
On 02/16/2013 at 1:03pm - money - by an idiot (man) - Australia
Today, my husband and I were fooling around in the shower. For some reason, I thought it'd be a good idea to grab his man meat and show him how to wash someone at a nursing home. He said he'd never be turned on by a nurse again. I'm a nurse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8281) - you deserved it (25180)
On 02/21/2013 at 12:51am - love - by tomedicalforlove -
Today, my fiancé is returning home, so I decided to wax myself, thinking things would get intimate. I warmed the wax strips and set them on the counter. Our cat jumped onto the counter and managed to roll onto one of the strips. Suffice to say, the wrong pussy got a painful waxing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34333) - you deserved it (5969)
On 02/25/2013 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my boss told me to go outside and take part in the company's stupid Harlem Shake video. When I declined, he threatened to fire me if I didn't take part. I ended up being the guy who had to furiously pelvic thrust before the music dropped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29795) - you deserved it (4476)
On 02/23/2013 at 2:32am - work - by mypelvishurts - United States (California)
Today, I finally figured out why I've been getting diarrhea so often over the past six months. It only happens whenever I do something "sneaky". My body reacts strongly to how I stress over potentially getting caught. I'm a private investigator, and I apparently need a new career. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25667) - you deserved it (2803)
On 02/10/2013 at 5:41am - work - by screwed - United States
Today, I'm 8 months pregnant with a horribly sore back and an insensitive husband. I'm so desperate for relief that I'm lying on the couch, using my vibrator to give myself a back massage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27682) - you deserved it (3040)
On 02/26/2013 at 2:11pm - misc - by guyssuck (woman) - Canada (Northwest Territories)
Today, my boyfriend of three years told me he was thinking about us taking a break. After an hour of crying and him saying it would be okay, I accepted it. When I asked when the break would start, he replied, "What are you talking about? I only said I'd thought about it" and then laughed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29862) - you deserved it (4861)
On 02/25/2013 at 1:10am - love - by Gullible (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I casually mentioned to my dad that it was the Chinese New Year yesterday. He accused me of insulting his intelligence by "making stupid shit up." I explained that it's real, and that we just use the Gregorian calendar, hence the different dates. He responded by grounding me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24353) - you deserved it (2945)
On 02/10/2013 at 8:00pm - misc - by must be adopted (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend and I arrived at our pre-paid hotel for a romantic evening. When we went to sign in, they had no reservation for us, however they did yesterday. The payment is non-refundable. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21912) - you deserved it (3621)
On 02/04/2013 at 3:47pm - money - by perfect (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had my gallbladder removed. I have a very painful incision in my belly that makes any kind of movement excruciating. I've had the hiccups 5 times so far. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25627) - you deserved it (1220)
On 02/08/2013 at 12:31am - health - by IHeartBlueJay - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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