Today, I got left in the middle of slow dancing with a girl I liked. She came back and said, "Sorry, I had to make sure the guy I really like knows that I don't like you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29664) - you deserved it (1245)
On 02/10/2013 at 11:01pm - love - by Greg (man) - United Kingdom
Today, I ran into a former co-worker who I hadn't seen in years. She was raving at how I hadn't aged a bit, but before I could thank her she said, "But, you know, chubby people age better." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20886) - you deserved it (2188)
On 02/04/2013 at 7:17am - work - by Colleen Nichols - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I had my girlfriend over for dinner with my family. My father had dressed up as a girl for a recent gig of his at a local pub. This got somehow brought up at the table. The rest of the dinner conversation consisted of him and my girlfriend discussing bras and lingerie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21901) - you deserved it (1928)
On 02/12/2013 at 12:55am - love - by BadLuckCarson - United States (Iowa)
Today, I took an afternoon nap, and when I woke up, it was pitch black outside. Still groggy, I went downstairs, only to see my dad sporting a shocked expression and a suspiciously powder-white beard. He actually almost convinced me that I'd just woken up from a five year coma. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22597) - you deserved it (4247)
On 02/17/2013 at 12:56am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I purchased a box of girl scout cookies from a coworker. I wanted to save them for later at home, so I placed them on my desk and then headed to a meeting. When I returned, there was an empty box sitting there with a post-it note saying, "Thanks!" Nobody will own up to it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20249) - you deserved it (4058)
On 02/18/2013 at 8:49pm - work - by erockinthesuburb (man) - United States
Today, after more than a year of being single, I finally had sex. Unfortunately, it was only in a dream, and after we finished, he told me that I'm terrible in bed. Even my dream-lover is a dick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25502) - you deserved it (3195)
On 02/17/2013 at 2:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Botswana (North-East)
Today, my girlfriend bought herself a brand new iPad and iPod Touch, and returned my aging iPod and Kindle, which she constantly steals for her own use. She considers it my Valentine's Day present. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22279) - you deserved it (2834)
On 02/14/2013 at 3:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Germany
Today, I uploaded a new Facebook profile photo, which got over 20 likes in the space of an hour. The most I've ever gotten before was 10. Surprised, I went to check my picture again, only to notice two guys were sarcastically flipping me the bird in the background. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22001) - you deserved it (5597)
Today, my son broke his hand when he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21129) - you deserved it (2226)
On 02/24/2013 at 9:57pm - kids - by why the fuck would you do that - United States (Arizona)
Today, I spoke to my crush for the first time, and after a while he asked for my number. Ecstatic, I took the first piece of paper I saw out of my purse. I wrote it down and gave it to him, but he handed it back and said, "You might need this." It was an appointment card for my therapist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22878) - you deserved it (4907)
On 02/11/2013 at 2:19pm - love - by sofuckingembarassing. (woman) - United States
Today, I was so exhausted that I slept through my phone ringing, and later my doorbell ringing. My psycho mom freaked out, and thinking I was in trouble, broke a window to get inside. This all happened before 7am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27076) - you deserved it (2034)
On 02/20/2013 at 3:33pm - misc - by annoyed - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was on the treadmill at the gym, when I felt my pants start slipping. I tried to pull them up, but lost my balance and fell face-first onto the floor. When I go to my wedding tomorrow, half the guests will probably think I've exchanged my fiancé for Chris Brown. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22961) - you deserved it (2888)
On 02/01/2013 at 6:31pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Brazil
Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22912) - you deserved it (1911)
On 02/27/2013 at 5:39pm - misc - by Chelsea - United States (Ohio)
Monday 20 May 2013
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