Today, after trying to convince my girlfriend to have sex for almost 16 months, she finally said yes. I couldn't get it up the second she said it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16351) - you deserved it (24032)
On 02/05/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I took my driver's test. I did everything flawlessly, but my examiner kept all but pissing his pants throughout. He yelled, "ARE YOU TRYING TO GET US KILLED?!" when I drove past a traffic light just as it was about to turn red. The road was almost empty. He failed me on the spot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9528) - you deserved it (35474)
On 02/22/2013 at 8:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia
Today, I walked past a few of my coworkers sitting outside smoking. As I got a whiff of the smoke, I coughed. They immediately started to defend their habit, and I was told to "mind my own fucking business." I wasn't trying to be rude; I'm actually allergic to cigarette smoke. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27510) - you deserved it (3133)
On 02/15/2013 at 12:53am - health - by youmindyourownbusiness - United States (Illinois)
Today, it's my first day at a new school. I transferred here halfway through the year to get away from a girl who bullies me. She's apparently bullied her mom into transferring her here as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34356) - you deserved it (1804)
On 02/19/2013 at 12:05pm - misc - by SchoolSucks (woman) - United States
Today, I was talking to the girl I really like, and she was telling me how crappy her day was. Trying to be nice, I gave her a back rub. I somehow managed to unhook her bra. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26738) - you deserved it (7371)
On 02/09/2013 at 12:13am - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while trucking, I got stuck in traffic on a congested highway. After 15 minutes of mind-numbing boredom, I glanced down at the car beside me, only to witness the driver changing her tampon and flicking the old one onto the highway. I can't unsee this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46411) - you deserved it (1824)
On 02/01/2013 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by thoughtidseenitall (man) - United States (Colorado)
Today, as a firefighter, we were called to assist the ambulance crew with lifting a deceased patient out of a house. Little did I know, he had been dead inside for 3 weeks, and was bloated and popped like a water balloon when we attempted to move him. My girlfriend made soup for the evening meal. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31453) - you deserved it (1341)
On 01/31/2013 at 11:39pm - work - by Fireguy92 (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went to a club with my girlfriend and her buddies. An hour in, I saw her making out with a guy on the dance floor, so I confronted her. She stormed off to the bar and said something to her friend, who then came over and angrily slapped me across the face. Yeah, I'm confused too. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41253) - you deserved it (2161)
On 02/02/2013 at 6:03pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Belgium
Today, it's my boyfriend's birthday. He really likes Legend of Zelda, so I put on a Link hat, took my clothes off, and waited for him at his place. He came home with a hooker. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43438) - you deserved it (2640)
On 02/11/2013 at 12:08pm - love - by excusemeprincess (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my 20-year-old daughter staggered into my room at two in the morning, drunker than I ever thought a person could be, screaming for me to make pancakes for her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28585) - you deserved it (6415)
On 02/27/2013 at 4:42pm - kids - by Ugh (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I told my parents that what I'd really like for my 21st birthday is the 1865 edition of the Memoirs of Saint-Simon in 22 volumes that I found online for $200, and have been wanting for months. They laughed and said, "Yeah, right. We'll get you an iPhone and perhaps you'll become normal." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27417) - you deserved it (7964)
On 02/01/2013 at 4:19am - misc - by HistoryFreak (woman) - France
Today, after 2 weeks of not having sex, my pregnant girlfriend and I finally fooled around. This was immediately followed by her bursting into tears and begging me to make her a ham steak. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29567) - you deserved it (7514)
On 02/02/2013 at 9:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my father gave me his blessing to be married on one condition: that I keep my maiden name when I marry. My fiancé thought it would be "epic". My last name will be hyphenated to Cobb-Webb. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25871) - you deserved it (3958)
On 02/16/2013 at 10:27am - love - by MsCobb - United States (Ohio)
Monday 20 May 2013
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