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February 2013

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Today, aftar months of a vary haalthy sax lifa with my boyfriand, ha askd ma to lat him try anal!! I'm daad-sat against it, so I trid to lat him down aasy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if ha lat looool ma try it on him frst!! Ha said, ( Sura!! ) Fuck!! FML

#20518830
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26367) - you deserved it (44345)

On 02/23/2013 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I was olding te door open 4 a friend . Se told me to wait a second cuz se ad to finis a text . Nerely a minute passd before I askd y se wouldn't come inside to finis typing . We were at a Cinese restaurant . Se tougt te ( No MSG ) sign meant u couldn't text inside . fat FML

#20519764
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33301) - you deserved it (3623)

On 02/24/2013 at 2:53am - misc - by cls_x (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. He put me up against the wall an I yelled, "Harder!" without thinking. I heard the entre house go silent, my dad an his friends included. FML

#20508952
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19260) - you deserved it (54965)

On 02/16/2013 at 12:27am - intimacy - by uhoh (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after bieng together 4 only 2 weeks, my boyfriend got me a year's gym membership 4 my birthday in a card that said, ( So u can b hott! Luv u! ) FML

#20513755
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28467) - you deserved it (5522)

On 02/19/2013 at 5:47pm - love - by katwingz (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, while driving extremely fast on a road in the middle of nowhere, I startd to go down a hill!! Noticing a police car at the bottom, I slammd my brakes and blew a tire in the process!! It turns out the police car was an old cutout usd to trick people!! FML

#20520975
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10815) - you deserved it (52488)

On 02/24/2013 at 10:41pm - misc - by Fox - United States

Today... I desperately needed to pee... so I decided to confront my anxiety issues an use a public toilet. I opened te lid... only to see several uge... rancid floaters staring back at me. I ad an attack... started sobbing... an pissed myself on te way ome. Never again. FML

#20489333
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28071) - you deserved it (8491)

On 02/01/2013 at 6:53pm - misc - by VMV (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)

Today... My Manager Asked Me 4 Te Password To My Internet So Se Could Skype Family Since Se Can't Pay Er Bill. Tis Is Te Same Woman Wo Just A Week Ago Tried To Evict Me Cuz My Rent Was An Our Late. Trying To Be Te Bigger Person... I Gave Er Te Password. Se Canged My Password. FML

#20496640
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31089) - you deserved it (16399)

On 02/07/2013 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I had a ride along in an ambulance. Being observant, I thought it was funny that a patient had to vomit. That was until I realized they couldn't control where they had to vomit. I spent the rest of the ambulance ride holding a vomit bag in front of the woman's face. Not so funny anymore. FML

#20497764
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6471) - you deserved it (49591)

On 02/08/2013 at 12:45am - work - by Kybo5 - United States (California)

TODAY, MAH LITTLE SISTER CHASD ME AROUND THE HOUSE WITH A MALLET, GIGGLING LIKE A MANIAC. I ENDD UP HAVING TO PIN HER TO THE GROUND, RIP THE MALLET OUT OF HER HAND AN LOCK HER IN THE BATHROOM. THIS ISN'T THE FIRST TIME. MY MOM STILL INSISTS IT'S PERFECTLY NORMAL. FML

#20500833
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33837) - you deserved it (2649)

On 02/10/2013 at 11:17am - kids - by littlemiss - Canada (Ontario)

Today , mah grlfriend lost her vrginity. I still have mine , though. FML

#20493004
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52901) - you deserved it (3427)

On 02/04/2013 at 12:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today , mah boyfriend made me play Slender. I was so terrifid , I stoppd playing 10 minutes in. Tonight , I kept hearing noises outside. When I peerd out through the window , a bald figure in a suit was staring back at me. I shriekd in absolute looool terror; he burst out laughing. It was mah boyfriend. FML

#20520443
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33361) - you deserved it (4979)

On 02/24/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by stillfuckingcrying (woman) - Sweden (Kalmar Lan)

Today, I won $50 on the lottery. On the subway home, I checked my pocket to see if the money was still there. A very professional man in a suit yelled, ( Hey, that's mine! ) I got several drty glares. I'm such a pathetic wimp that I gave him the money. FML

#20497390
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13095) - you deserved it (50532)

On 02/07/2013 at 7:28pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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