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February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was at an estate sale of my neighbor who recently passed. I recognized many items for sale that I had ordered or won on eBay from the past 8 years. Turns out the little old lady had been stealing my mail for close to a decade. FML

#20496903
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32105) - you deserved it (2504)

On 02/07/2013 at 10:24am - misc - by GarageSallin (man) -

Today, I discovered that my cat recently had explosive diarrhea, and couldn't make it to the litterbox in time. I discovered this when I stepped in the very, very fresh poop with my bare feet. FML

#20503744
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23056) - you deserved it (3354)

On 02/12/2013 at 3:15pm - animals - by Turdfoot (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, as my lame excuse to not give a guy I met at a club my phone number, I told him I didn't have a cell phone. Guess what I checked when he asked me what time it was a few minutes later. FML

#20512812
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5919) - you deserved it (35150)

On 02/18/2013 at 10:21pm - misc - by hhhhhhhpeterwut - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went to the doctor to get a blood test and I started crying when I saw the needle. I planned on becoming a doctor. FML

#20519825
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18970) - you deserved it (1774)

On 02/24/2013 at 4:34am - health - by Caroline - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I got permission from my parents for my boyfriend to stay over. Things got intimate, and I tried my hardest not to make too much noise. However, while having a post-sex cuddle, we heard my parents in the next room muttering about my "faking". FML

#20498986
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14420) - you deserved it (33692)

On 02/09/2013 at 12:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Somerset)

Today, my grandmother walked in on me watching porn on my computer. She looked at the woman on the screen and said, "I used to have tits like that, but look what having 7 kids did to them." Now I'm scarred for life. FML

#20488708
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16711) - you deserved it (24307)

On 02/01/2013 at 6:05am - intimacy - by Master Debater (man) - Australia

Today, a guy wolf-whistled me as I walked to the shop wearing comfy joggers, no makeup and my hair scraped back. Feeling rather pleased about it, I told my best friend and my fiancé. Their unanimous conclusion: the guy must have been drunk or taking hallucinogenic drugs. FML

Today, I hired out a motel room so I could stay there by myself and lie to my mother and grandmother about having friends. This is the third time. FML

#20492687
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26037) - you deserved it (12142)

On 02/04/2013 at 2:45am - love - by lonelyloser - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I unknowingly bought a house next to a former toxic waste dump. I found out by reading an article in the paper where residents are claiming that they are experiencing cancer and birth defects. FML

#20503049
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23070) - you deserved it (4562)

On 02/11/2013 at 11:18pm - health - by toxic waste - United States (New York)

Today, my wife mentioned that she wanted to give me a three-way. I was ecstatic, until she opened her right hand, only to reveal a 3-way lightbulb. FML

#20512105
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11828) - you deserved it (32312)

On 02/18/2013 at 12:23pm - intimacy - by phatdaddy62 (man) - United States

Today, I was giving my guy a blowjob. When he blurted out, "Oh Jesus" I assumed I was doing a good job. I looked up to see the expression on his face and noticed a look of terror. He was staring at my growling cat, two seconds away from clawing his face off. FML

#20514475
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29492) - you deserved it (4466)

On 02/20/2013 at 1:55am - intimacy - by jealouspussy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend gave me the most beautiful diamond ring I have ever seen. As I excitedly put it on my finger, he told me it wasn't an engagement ring, but I should wear it like one to keep other men away and seem "unapproachable". FML

#20488292
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25424) - you deserved it (3495)

On 01/31/2013 at 10:35pm - love - by whatsername92 (woman) - United States

Today, I had to unpick a wedgie in the street. I backed against a wall, lifted my skirt and sorted it. I then turned around and caught eye contact with several men in the barbers behind me. Not such a solid wall after all. FML

#20496820
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9649) - you deserved it (24676)

On 02/07/2013 at 7:31am - misc - by chattyloz (woman) - United Kingdom



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