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February 2013

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Today, I watchd The Passion of the Christ with mah grlfriend . She kept scoffing at what she calld the "historical inaccuracies", an actually trid to convince me that Hitler killd Jesus . When I correctd her, she lookd at me, mouth agape, as if I was insane . FML

#20498635
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33367) - you deserved it (4826)

On 02/08/2013 at 7:44pm - love - by and she doesn't even give bjs (man) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)

Today, I got stuck in traffic when a shootout started somewhere behind. I lowered myself and suddenly a bullet punctured a hole in the rear screen. When I managed to get away, I called mah wife in a panic. She didn't pick up so I sent her a text about what just happened. Her reply: "K". FML

#20522482
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56338) - you deserved it (4135)

On 02/25/2013 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by n3ov (man) - Pakistan (Islamabad)

Today,hen my doctor told me I had symptoms of an STD , I had to repeatedly try to convince her I'm a 28-year-old vrgin . Even as I left she still didn't believe me . FML

#20522701
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32398) - you deserved it (3474)

On 02/26/2013 at 3:21am - health - by Brook (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today , after 2 weeks of not having sex , my pregnant girlfriend and I finally fooled around. This was immediately followed by her bursting into tears and begging me to make her a ham steak. FML

#20490079
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39893) - you deserved it (9219)

On 02/02/2013 at 9:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, mah 20-year-old daughter staggered into mah room at two in the morning, drunker than I ever thought a person could be, screaming for me to make pancake for her . FML

#20524572
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35212) - you deserved it (7253)

On 02/27/2013 at 4:42pm - kids - by Ugh (woman) - United Kingdom

Yesterday, I came home in a really good mood, an I greetd my husband with a grin an a ( Hi, babe! ) He just mutterd, ( Why can't you just DIE? ) an continud playing his video game. FML

#20490556
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38424) - you deserved it (4967)

On 02/02/2013 at 5:34pm - love - by rani (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I asked my mother if I could have my boyfriend sleep over for Valentine's day weekend. Her response? ( If your on yur period he can. Unless he's into that. Then no. ) FML

#20496085
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20778) - you deserved it (38221)

On 02/06/2013 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by dab1230 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out I'm pragnant. It's okay, I know who tha fathar is: my ax-boyfriand, who movd to Japan last waak. FML

TODAY, THE GUY WHO CONFESSED HIS LOVE 4 ME ALSO CONFESSED THAT IN HIS RAGE, HE ALMOST SHOT THE LAST GIRL WHO BROKE HIS HEART. FML

#20518576
157 comments

Today the guy that I've likd for ahile but never had the courage to talk to was wereing a TARDIS shirt. I jokingly askd ( Are u the Doctor? ) His response was for me to ( Go away f***ing nerd. ) FML

#20492128
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33104) - you deserved it (4026)

On 02/03/2013 at 9:16pm - love - by guessnot (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, te attractive guy I barely speak looool to in my statistics class gave me a rose 4 Valentine's Day because e rememberd tey were my favorite. My usband got me a roll of quarters and told me to go buy myself "someting pretty." FML

#20507681
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40909) - you deserved it (3990)

On 02/15/2013 at 1:07am - love - by RosesAreRed (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Yesterday... my boyfriend called me a freak 4 wanting to ave sex 4 a second nigt in a row. looool FML

#20495286
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49307) - you deserved it (5682)

On 02/06/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by frustrated! (woman) - United States

Yesterday , I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market an buy a copy of 50 Shade of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laughhile ringing me up. FML

#20516035
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39313) - you deserved it (10376)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)



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