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February 2013

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Today , I actually considered mah boyfriend romantic and deserving of an award when he didn't fart after sex. FML

#20488602
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35065) - you deserved it (6238)

On 02/01/2013 at 2:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

today I was at my boyfriend's grandmother's house meeting her 4 the first time. I excused myself to the restroom and as I walked out of the room I heard her say, "You could do a lot better. She's fat." Then I heard my boyfriend reply, "I know." FML

#20511747
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46365) - you deserved it (5118)

On 02/18/2013 at 2:09am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, after a sower, my dad jokingly asked if I was jacking off in te sower because I was taking a long time. Before I could respond, my mom cimed in wit, "No, e does it before e sowers, aven't u noticed ow e locks imself in is room?" Se was rigt on te money. mega FML

#20494355
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41623) - you deserved it (12363)

On 02/05/2013 at 11:18am - intimacy - by Lockedinroom (man) - United States

Today, ma boyfriend of tree years told me e was tinking about us taking a break. After an our of crying and im saying it would be okay, I accepted it. Wen I asked wen te break would start, e replied, "Wat are u talking about? I only said I'd tougt about it" and ten lauged. FML

#20521204
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38358) - you deserved it (6901)

On 02/25/2013 at 1:10am - love - by Gullible (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I cummed home from a rough day working two jobs to find a plate of cookies on mah desk with a note from mah roommates saying, "You deserve it!" I happily broke one in half to eat and discovered they contained coconut. I'm allergic to coconut, a fact both of mah roommates are aware of. FML

#20521168
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31113) - you deserved it (3270)

On 02/25/2013 at 12:44am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today , I went shopping with my two-year-old nephew. He threw a tantrum in the middle of the store cuz I would not show him my "boobies". A man cummed up to us and said I should do wat my nephew wanted. FML

yesterday while I was in the shower boyfriend decided to join me. We were really getting into it and he attempted to lift me up. Not only did I let out a massive fart he slipped and fell on top of me. He won't stop laughing. FML

#20513159
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43132) - you deserved it (9402)

On 02/19/2013 at 3:35am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, mah dad took me to the empty parking lot of Wal-Mart to try driving for the frst time. All was well until he shouted at me for going too slow, which startled me into jerking the wheel and simultaneously stomping on the gas. I don't think Geico cover a Wal-Mart-sized dent in one's car. real FML

Today, mah college started an internet ( confessions ) page. Out of curiosity I checked it out, only to find that it's full of some of the most disturbing stuff I've ever read. My schoolmates are either filthy as fuck or they are all pathological liars. Wonderful.

#20524030
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33240) - you deserved it (4660)

On 02/27/2013 at 2:17am - intimacy - by panicelement (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, mah maid of honor, who offered to take care of mah wedding dress before the D-Day, left it near her open window during heavy rain. My dress is now ruined, and she's backed out due to stress. I'm supposed to be getting married tomorrow. real FML

#20503604
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33973) - you deserved it (3351)

On 02/12/2013 at 12:41pm - misc - by Meaghan (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I got my very frst yeast infection. Thinking she would help me, I went to my mom. Instead she began yelling about how I'm lying and it's an STD and I don't believe in the power of Jesus. FML

#20503942
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31765) - you deserved it (2639)

On 02/12/2013 at 6:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had drinks at a friend's house before going out to a concert. I still had a bottle of beer left, so I brought it along with me. I got kicked out five minutes into the show for bringing mah own drink, which is apparently against the rules. I paid $75 to get kicked out over a $3 drink. big fat FML

#20496974
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10025) - you deserved it (43388)

On 02/07/2013 at 12:11pm - misc - by loquacious shit stain (woman) - Australia

Yesterday the people living below me have been blasting there music so loudly that I can hear every word as clear as day . The people next door think it's my music and feel the need to bang on the wall and blast there music just as loudly in revenge . I have two very important exams tomorrow . FML

#20515010
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34011) - you deserved it (2924)

On 02/20/2013 at 3:40pm - misc - by Ughh! - France



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