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February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I watched The Passion of the Christ with my girlfriend. She kept scoffing at what she called the "historical inaccuracies", and actually tried to convince me that Hitler killed Jesus. When I corrected her, she looked at me, mouth agape, as if I was insane. FML

#20498635
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31671) - you deserved it (4649)

On 02/08/2013 at 7:44pm - love - by and she doesn't even give bjs (man) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)

Today, I got stuck in traffic when a shootout started somewhere behind. I lowered myself and suddenly a bullet punctured a hole in the rear screen. When I managed to get away, I called my wife in a panic. She didn't pick up so I sent her a text about what just happened. Her reply: "K". FML

#20522482
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53914) - you deserved it (3921)

On 02/25/2013 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by n3ov (man) - Pakistan (Islamabad)

Today, when my doctor told me I had symptoms of an STD, I had to repeatedly try to convince her I'm a 28-year-old virgin. Even as I left she still didn't believe me. FML

#20522701
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32358) - you deserved it (3472)

On 02/26/2013 at 3:21am - health - by Brook (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after 2 weeks of not having sex, my pregnant girlfriend and I finally fooled around. This was immediately followed by her bursting into tears and begging me to make her a ham steak. FML

#20490079
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39867) - you deserved it (9215)

On 02/02/2013 at 9:41am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my 20-year-old daughter staggered into my room at two in the morning, drunker than I ever thought a person could be, screaming for me to make pancakes for her. FML

#20524572
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35185) - you deserved it (7252)

On 02/27/2013 at 4:42pm - kids - by Ugh (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I came home in a really good mood, and I greeted my husband with a grin and a "Hi, babe!" He just muttered, "Why can't you just DIE?" and continued playing his video game. FML

#20490556
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38399) - you deserved it (4966)

On 02/02/2013 at 5:34pm - love - by rani (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I asked my mother if I could have my boyfriend sleep over for Valentine's day weekend. Her response? "If you're on your period he can. Unless he's into that. Then no." FML

#20496085
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20758) - you deserved it (38202)

On 02/06/2013 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by dab1230 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, the guy who confessed his love for me also confessed that in his rage, he almost shot the last girl who broke his heart. FML

#20518576
157 comments

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. It's okay, I know who the father is: my ex-boyfriend, who moved to Japan last week. FML

Today, the attractive guy I barely speak to in my statistics class gave me a rose for Valentine's Day because he remembered they were my favorite. My husband got me a roll of quarters and told me to go buy myself "something pretty." FML

#20507681
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40917) - you deserved it (3989)

On 02/15/2013 at 1:07am - love - by RosesAreRed (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, the guy that I've liked for a while but never had the courage to talk to was wearing a TARDIS shirt. I jokingly asked, "Are you the Doctor?" His response was for me to "Go away, f***ing nerd." FML

#20492128
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33066) - you deserved it (4025)

On 02/03/2013 at 9:16pm - love - by guessnot (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend called me a freak for wanting to have sex for a second night in a row. FML

#20495286
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49270) - you deserved it (5678)

On 02/06/2013 at 1:01am - intimacy - by frustrated! (woman) - United States

Today, I lost a bet with my friends. I had to go to the super market and buy a copy of 50 Shades of Grey along with a cucumber. The cashier was trying so hard not to laugh while ringing me up. FML

#20516035
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39273) - you deserved it (10365)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:43am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)



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