Today, I was at a club when a notoriously desperate and disgusting guy asked me to grind with him. Hoping for some backup, I coolly said, "You'll have to ask my boyfriend." My boyfriend's response? "Yeah, man, I don't care." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27373) - you deserved it (5701)
On 02/19/2013 at 10:27am - misc - by really (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my mom accused me of stealing money from her purse. Being totally innocent, I reminded her that the only other person with access to it is her boyfriend. She said she trusts him because she loves him. They've been dating for 2 months. I've been her daughter for 25 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31421) - you deserved it (1400)
On 02/03/2013 at 7:26pm - money - by :/ (woman) - Netherlands (Gelderland)
Today, my girlfriend asked me if she looked fat in her new pair of jeans. Knowing I was probably about two seconds away from all hell breaking loose, I instinctively tried to save my game, before remembering I wasn't playing a video game. I really need to get a life. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8614) - you deserved it (19119)
On 02/03/2013 at 4:57pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia
Today, I called security at my school because I left my mittens in a classroom and it was locked. When the security officer showed up, he asked if the mittens I was looking for were the ones on my hands. I even had to take one of them off to call them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7340) - you deserved it (40947)
On 02/05/2013 at 12:24am - misc - by swarm20 - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I managed to score a date for the first time in over a year, and was very nervous. When I was asked what I do for a living, I laughed nervously, and then blurted out, "Finger women." What I was trying to jokingly say was that I'm a gynecologist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13216) - you deserved it (29917)
On 02/28/2013 at 2:57am - love - by notapervert - United States (California)
Today, a classmate posted a recording of a recent lecture on my university's Facebook page, so we could listen again and take notes at home. A few minutes in, I heard myself asking a question. I then heard snorting and some girl muttering "dumb cunt" under her breath. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27909) - you deserved it (2695)
On 02/27/2013 at 3:52pm - misc - by DumbCuntApparently (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)
Today, I found an old toy that I gave to my daughter several years ago. It was still unopened, and long forgotten, so I decided to re-gift it to one of my friend's children. My daughter immediately remembered her "favorite" toy and started crying inconsolably. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22204) - you deserved it (7375)
On 02/22/2013 at 5:32pm - kids - by Great. (woman) - Brazil (Minas Gerais)
Today, my mom started referring to me as "The Bitch". When I asked her why, she said that I have always been a bitch, but I was never old enough for her to actually call me a bitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21250) - you deserved it (4935)
On 02/10/2013 at 11:26pm - misc - by maggu (woman) - Denmark
Today, my new room-mate moved in. She spent over an hour obsessively searching the place for god knows what kind of secret recording devices, and now aggressively demands that I taste-test all of her pre-prepared meals to make sure they're not poisoned. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22486) - you deserved it (2206)
On 02/10/2013 at 6:13pm - misc - by obsequiousfannyflapper (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)
Today, I walked 6 miles to see my girlfriend. After 5 and a half miles, she broke up with me because I never visit her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29107) - you deserved it (2326)
On 02/22/2013 at 5:25am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I was struck down with horrible diarrhea. With barely any toilet paper left, I texted my husband to buy some more and rush home. He replied, "Sorry babe, getting shitfaced with the lads. Get it? 'Shitfaced'. LOL!" and stopped replying to my desperate pleas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23314) - you deserved it (2413)
On 02/22/2013 at 7:31pm - health - by arse of fire :( (woman) - United Kingdom (Slough)
Today, while riding the train home, I noticed a man who kept looking at me. Annoyed, I told him to be less obvious and to stop staring. He promptly responded, "Bitch, I'm gay, and even I can tell no one would want to look at you." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9513) - you deserved it (37773)
On 02/14/2013 at 2:39am - misc - by assoutofuandme (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend of nine months made a huge scene in public, calling me a "cheating bastard" because she saw me with another woman at the library. That "other woman" is my Calculus tutor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24903) - you deserved it (2043)
On 02/20/2013 at 1:20pm - love - by ? - United States (California)
Friday 24 May 2013
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