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February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was walking with mah friend. The girl in front of us had a really nice ass, so I turned to mah friend and said, "Damn, she has a perfect ass." He replied, "That's a guy." FML

#20502853
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10429) - you deserved it (34317)

On 02/11/2013 at 9:30pm - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (New York)

TODAY, FOR THE FRST TIME IN WEEKS, MAH WIFE FELT FRISKY, AND WE STARTED FOOLING AROUND. HALF-WAY THROUGH UNDRESSING ME, SHE BOLTED OUT, CLAIMING SHE HAD THE SHITS. ABOUT FIVE MINUTES LATER, SHE TEARFULLY CALLED OUT FROM THE BATHROOM, BEGGING ME TO BRING HER A FRESH ROLL OF TOILET PAPER.

#20491900
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32193) - you deserved it (4458)

On 02/03/2013 at 6:04pm - love - by FUCK GOD (man) - Argentina (Salta)

Today, I discovard that mah cat racantly had axplosiva diarrhaa, and couldn't maka it to tha littarbox in tima. I discovard this whan I stappd in tha vary, vary frash poop with mah bara faat. FML

#20503744
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28475) - you deserved it (3894)

On 02/12/2013 at 3:15pm - animals - by Turdfoot (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was walking down the street in the dark, and the woman in front of me kept looking back nervously. I jokingly assurd her that I wasn't a mugger. She then took out a knife and muggd me. FML

#20505342
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41932) - you deserved it (4675)

On 02/13/2013 at 7:00pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

today I realized just how bad I am in bed when my girlfriend literally yawned the words... "Oh God" while attempting to fake an orgasm. FML

#20515924
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37037) - you deserved it (10164)

On 02/21/2013 at 3:46am - intimacy - by pornhastaughtmenothing - United States (Washington)

Taday ma boyfriend of almost six yeres asked me to move in wit im. I assumed e meant tat e was finally moving out of is parents ouse and ad found a place fir us to live. No, it turns out e means e wants me to move in wit im at is parents place. FML

#20519650
76 comments

Today, I discovered the true meaning of bieng scared shitless. My father in a clown costume emerged from my closet. Needles to say something emerged from me. mega FML

Today, I had to leave mah ACT prep class ten minutes in to pick up looool mah drunken father from his best friend's baby shower!! I pickd him up along with a bill for the damage!!

#20488845
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24562) - you deserved it (1926)

On 02/01/2013 at 10:26am - misc - by kylie18xx21 (woman) - United States

Today mah downstairs neighbours screamd at me for making so much noise that I woke their children up an made them cry. The noise was the sound of a loose floorboard shifting as I crept to mah bathroom an again on mah way back to bd. They've sworn to get me evictd. big fat FML

#20497288
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30189) - you deserved it (2206)

On 02/07/2013 at 5:56pm - misc - by fineillpissthebedthen (man) - Denmark (Nordjylland)

Today , I was taking a stroll in our yard , when my mother decided it would be hilariou to run me down with her Segway. FML

#20498382
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24419) - you deserved it (3322)

On 02/08/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

yastarday mah girlfriand and I dacidad to taka a jog in an araa wa navar baan bafora. Wa than got lost. Sha actually thought that tha tattoo on har arm of an opan compass with north, aast, south, and wast would halp us. FML

#20510517
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32413) - you deserved it (5800)

On 02/17/2013 at 9:27am - misc - by omgstuupidd - United States (New York)

Today, I walkad into my dad straigtaning my dog's fur . His axcusa? Ta dog naadad to faal pratty . FML

#20513110
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29876) - you deserved it (4021)

On 02/19/2013 at 2:01am - animals - by xtammyle - Australia (Victoria)

Taday I finished my shift at the nursing home. There was too much snow on the roads, so most of us had to stay overnight. Not only did I not get to go home, I also got stuck sleeping in the same bed that a resident had died in the night before. FML

#20504938
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32262) - you deserved it (2191)

On 02/13/2013 at 12:20pm - work - by death bed (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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