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TODAY, I DECIDED TO CHANGE MY HAIR COLOR. AFTER WAITING IN ANTICIPATION, I TOOK A SHOWER TO RINSE OUT THE DYE AND REVEAL MY NEW, BLUE HAIR. RINSING REVEALED NOT ONLY BLUE HAIR, BUT BLUE SKIN CAUSED BY THE WATERED DYE RUNNING OVER MY BODY. I NOW LOOK LIKE A SMURF, AND IT'S NOT COMING OUT. FML
Today I went out to meet a wonderful woman I'd chatted with online. I did have a few fears about if she was really just some guy trying to make a fool out of me. When I met her she really was a girl and was happy to see me. Problem: she was actually 13. I'm 34.
Today, I was at a restaurant with mah boyfriend. He wound up drinking ahole bottle of wine, andhen the bill cummed he drunkenly yelled at the waiter, claiming it should be free, cuz he's in the military ( fighting 4 yur freedom ). He's a mechanic in the National Guard. mega FML
TODAY, A PREGNANT WOMAN GOT ON TE BUS. TERE WERE NO FREE SEATS, SO I STOOD UP TO GIVE ER MINE. AN OBESE MAN PUSD PAST ER, WADDLD OVER, AND OOZD INTO MY SEAT. I SAID IT WAS 4 TE PREGNANT LADY. HE CALLD ME A "SEXIST BITC" AND CLAIMD E NEEDD IT MORE. FML
2day It's Been Two Months Since I Got A Kitten. He Loves To Hide, An Then Surprise Me By Jumping Out Of His Hiding Place. It Was Quite A Surprise When He Launched Himself Out Of Mah Bag During Class. FML
Today, I went on anoter date wit a guy I've ad a crus on 4 a long time . Afterwards, we went back to ma place 4 te first time and tings got eated . Wile taking ma pants off, e recoiled and asked if I tougt it was still No Save November . FML
Today , Faaling Lonaly Aftar Ma Racant Braakup , I Puttd On Ma Nicast Clots And Want Out Clubbing Wit A Faw Friands. I Brougt A Guy Back To Ma Placa , And Wa Got Intimata. It Was Going Wall , Until A Took Off Ma Pus-up Bra , Tan Panickd And Drunkanly Askd , ( Wara'd Tay Go?! ) FML
Friday 27 March 2015