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January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I caught my boyfriend wearing yoga pants and taking pictures of his butt to post on a "Girls in yoga pants" site. He saw my expression and said, "Nah, it's cool, I hid my junk so they'll think it's a chick!" FML

#20451178
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38929) - you deserved it (5367)

On 01/10/2013 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Amy (woman) - United States

Today, I went to my cousin's wedding. The groom walked over when the two of us were talking, took one good look at me, slapped me on the ass, and said, "You know, if I wasn't marrying Rose here, you'd be next." Yeah, about that: I'm a 16-year old guy. FML

#20485957
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35303) - you deserved it (4042)

On 01/30/2013 at 7:21am - love - by Denki (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, I was yet again asked to show my hall pass. I'm 23 and work at a middle school. I've worked here for the last five months, so not only do I look 13 years old, I'm also not memorable enough for my own coworkers to recognize me. FML

#20454196
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35667) - you deserved it (2765)

On 01/11/2013 at 8:11pm - work - by Can'tAgeOrMakeFriends (woman) - United States

Today, while babysitting my neighbors' kids, their oldest son used a paint pen on the carpet. The boy blamed me and I got fired. He's only 3 and can barely talk. FML

#20479262
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26913) - you deserved it (5015)

On 01/26/2013 at 3:42am - kids - by anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was having a conversation with my mother during which I described something as being pungent. She thought I had made up the word, so I grabbed the dictionary to show her that I hadn't. She then became enraged, threw the dictionary at my head and told me never to talk to her again. FML

#20463921
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30620) - you deserved it (3196)

On 01/17/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by Mizzaroo - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to beg my husband not to shave his pubic hair into a handlebar moustache. FML

#20442876
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19039) - you deserved it (3693)

On 01/04/2013 at 7:31pm - love - by marisa (woman) - Ireland (Carlow)

Today, my 14-year-old son showed me a "bird's egg" he was looking after in his room. It was a dried up dog turd. FML

#20451321
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28114) - you deserved it (7408)

On 01/10/2013 at 1:28am - kids - by Facepalmum (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my daughter learned a new song. This would be great, except for the lisp her teacher has. I now have a child screaming about the "itchy bitchy spider" at the top of her lungs. FML

#20448629
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34118) - you deserved it (2761)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:01pm - kids - by ugh (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML

#20450136
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28507) - you deserved it (7142)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:57pm - misc - by thanksmom (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while on a first date with a charming guy, I excused myself to the bathroom. I tried to bring my purse along, since my pads were in there, and mother nature was calling. He vehemently insisted that I leave my purse, in case I was planning on stiffing him on the bill. FML

#20442878
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23375) - you deserved it (2189)

On 01/04/2013 at 7:33pm - love - by but i make different stiffies (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, at my four-year-old daughter's insistence, I looked for - and found - a radio station that plays "Santa music" all year round. She's ecstatic and I can't turn it off without upsetting her. FML

#20436981
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24003) - you deserved it (10109)

On 01/01/2013 at 7:18pm - kids - by christmaswillneverend - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was making wedding plans with my fiancé. His mother kept complaining about everything, and insisted it was pointless to plan because it's just our "first marriage." She then tried to convince him to dump me and move back in with her because "she's all he'll ever need." FML

Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML

#20472773
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29815) - you deserved it (2603)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:14am - work - by Job Seeking (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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