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January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found a lost dog and called the owner. When he arrived, I thought it would be cute to put the dog down so he would run back into his owner's arms, like in movies. As soon as I put the dog down, it ran away again. FML

#20469405
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18699) - you deserved it (39475)

On 01/20/2013 at 11:34am - animals - by DrakeB (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm too "high maintenance". And that's because I ask him to use condoms when we have sex, and I refuse to invite my friends over for threesomes. I don't know why I'm not actually glad we are broken up. FML

#20445835
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27103) - you deserved it (5307)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:35am - love - by kat124ever (woman) - United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East)

Today, instead of the traditional midnight kiss, my husband handed me divorce papers. FML

#20436006
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46076) - you deserved it (5177)

On 01/01/2013 at 10:15am - misc - by Sarah - United States

Today, my boyfriend of three days met up with me at the movie theater, sporting a crude tattoo of my face on his cheek, along with a love heart and the word "forever." Looks like I'm single again. FML

#20469621
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36113) - you deserved it (3861)

On 01/20/2013 at 2:28pm - love - by maybe dead in a day (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML

#20457945
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29739) - you deserved it (3247)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm - misc - by anon - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got a text from an unknown number saying, "You shouldn't be eating that." I was eating a piece of chocolate, cheating on my diet. FML

#20480667
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31683) - you deserved it (17471)

On 01/27/2013 at 12:38am - misc - by LucidNightmare - United States (Colorado)

Today, while giving my girlfriend a back-rub, she moaned and commented, "If only you could fuck this well." FML

#20455279
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33282) - you deserved it (8298)

On 01/12/2013 at 12:57pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I paused the movie my girlfriend and I were watching and told her, for the first time, that I loved her. Her response was to stare at me silently for a few seconds before unpausing the film. FML

#20440422
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35892) - you deserved it (6483)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:43am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, marks the sixth day in a row that my mum has called me to discuss my upcoming wedding. She's obsessed and has intimidated the actual planner I hired into going along with her plans. She's slipped up twice already and accidentally referred to it as her own wedding. Just great. FML

#20453938
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35565) - you deserved it (3691)

On 01/11/2013 at 5:19pm - love - by fuck you, mum (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my husband and I finally agreed on something: marriage counseling. FML

#20455127
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28308) - you deserved it (5832)

On 01/12/2013 at 10:28am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my 24-year-old brother again yelled at me for looking at him while he was on the toilet. It'd be easier not to if he didn't sit on the toilet with the door wide open, and if the bathroom wasn't directly opposite my bedroom. FML

#20438837
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30831) - you deserved it (3278)

On 01/02/2013 at 3:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, while out hiking, my phone slipped out of my pocket. I caught it and gave it to my little cousin, giving her a "special mission" to keep it safe. When we got back to our cars later, I asked her for my phone back. Turns out she left it under a shrub back in the hills so it'd be "safe." FML

#20445287
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10059) - you deserved it (34043)

On 01/06/2013 at 7:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my mom wished me "Happy Conception Day." FML

#20462817
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25896) - you deserved it (4013)

On 01/16/2013 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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