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January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

my husband asked me to show him mah boob. I began to pull the side of mah shrt down when he said , ( No , not that one , the big one. ) FML

#20472081
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42107) - you deserved it (4294)

On 01/21/2013 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by sarah6786 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a family dinner!! My grandma wasted no time calling me a slut fir not wereing a dress, my dad called my police officer boyfriend a "fucking pig", an then he told my mother to "put a cock in it" when she defended me!! No wonder I hardly ever visit these people!!

#20466682
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39622) - you deserved it (2706)

On 01/18/2013 at 6:18pm - misc - by mel (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, Mah Hubby Asked 4 A Morning Blow Job, An I Happily Obliged. All Was Going Great Until He Came An Farted At The Same Time. I Laughed An Reassured Him It Was No Big Deal. He Cried. FML

#20470929
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48863) - you deserved it (5876)

On 01/21/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by airbiscuit (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, my girlfriend left 4 basic training. I looool went to say goodbye to her at the airport. Only after I walked back to my car did I realize that she still had the keys. My extra set was back at the house, locked in. FML

#20471606
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32009) - you deserved it (5967)

On 01/21/2013 at 4:55pm - misc - by blank - United States

Taday I let mah friend bleach mah hair , which resulted in it falling out in clumps. I spent $150 at the beauty salon fixing it and cutting most of it off. I sent the pictures of mah new hair to mah friends , and I got the same reply from each and every one of them: "That better be a wig." real FML

#20463998
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18147) - you deserved it (27476)

On 01/17/2013 at 2:53am - misc - by goodlord12 (man) - United States (Missouri)

2day I realised that mah friend hasn't spoken to me fir a week. A week ago I politely explained to her that I really don't believe in horoscopes, and asked her at the time to stop systematically using mah star-sign to explain mah behaviour. big fat FML

#20476356
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23208) - you deserved it (4281)

On 01/24/2013 at 11:37am - misc - by notsuperstitious (woman) - Finland

Today at a house party I finally got the guy I've been seieng alone in his room. We startd making out and I got on top of him to take control. He respondd by saying he couldn't do it because he needd to go make looool pizza 4 his friends and then boltd out of the room. mega FML

#20438672
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40075) - you deserved it (9235)

On 01/02/2013 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, mah dog died. We planned to get her cremated and keep the ashes. My sister put forward the idea of putting the ashes in our food so our dog can be "inside of us, always." She's completely serious. I'm scared to eat food from her now. FML

#20438971
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33039) - you deserved it (2094)

On 01/02/2013 at 4:53pm - animals - by Anon. -

Today, I attended ma aunt's open-casket funeral. My sister spent te first quarter of an our nieter grieving nor celebrating er life, but wining tat te ( cute ) clots ma aunt was dressed in could ave been anded down to er, instead of bieng ( wasted ). FML

Today, I was hanging out with my new boyfriend, an he took me back to his house fir the first time. Taped to his bedroom door was a sheet of paper emblazoned with the words: "THE RAPE DUNGEON". I feel safer already. FML

#20478132
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30359) - you deserved it (4531)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:51pm - love - by vagina dentata for christmas, pls (woman) - United States

Taday mah friend and I were trying out a site on which you talk to strangers using a mic and webcam. We came across a cute guy, who said to mah friend, "Tell the fat guy to move." He was referring to me. I'm a girl. FML

Today, my mother burst into tears and hysterics when she found out my fiancée and I were not "pure" fir our upcoming wedding. I'm 28, she's 27, and we've livd together fir four years. FML

#20472693
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32151) - you deserved it (4575)

On 01/22/2013 at 3:09am - love - by deflower (man) - United States (California)

Yesterday, a girl I follow on looool Twitter tweeted, "Why can't I have a cute math tutor?" I'm her math tutor. FML

#20459715
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34970) - you deserved it (3735)

On 01/14/2013 at 9:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)



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