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January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She heard the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML

#20480710
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28309) - you deserved it (3295)

On 01/27/2013 at 1:03am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, at 24, I still can't grow a single bit of facial hair. Well, at least not on the right side of my face. FML

#20481856
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24413) - you deserved it (1920)

On 01/27/2013 at 8:08pm - health - by ihatemylife - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went on a first date with the guy I really like. During our dinner, he said he needed to go to the bathroom. You guessed it: he didn't come back. FML

#20438667
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31138) - you deserved it (2822)

On 01/02/2013 at 1:59pm - love - by great. -

Today, I got an offer to study at a good university. My father has been pushing me to apply for years, so I ecstatically broke the news. Instead of congratulating me, he just grunted and delivered the more important news that he's divorcing my mum. Moment ruined. FML

#20443641
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18530) - you deserved it (1251)

On 01/05/2013 at 12:09pm - misc - by Sad nerd (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I was walking my dog when he decided that he was too lazy to continue walking. It ended up with me looking like a crazy dog lady carrying my medium-sized dog home. FML

#20448490
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24524) - you deserved it (4497)

On 01/08/2013 at 6:56pm - animals - by life// (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I went on a run with my crush. She expressed how happy she was to have a decent running partner, because the last one kept complaining he thought he might throw up. We got to the top of the hill and I puked right in front of her. FML

#20463224
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26898) - you deserved it (2959)

On 01/16/2013 at 7:53pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was chatting with my choir leader. I told him that I have been thinking about taking singing lessons. His immediate reaction was, "Thank god, finally!" FML

#20474677
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21901) - you deserved it (5737)

On 01/23/2013 at 10:44am - misc - by sdd (woman) - Switzerland (Bern)

Today, my mom barged into my room at three in the morning, demanding to know where I'd been. I'd been in my room sleeping since ten o'clock. In that time she had called the police, all of my friends, and my ex-boyfriend, asking if I was with them. FML

#20479024
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32019) - you deserved it (2025)

On 01/26/2013 at 12:14am - misc - by Sarah - United States

Today, my son volunteered to help me cut out coupons. When I got to the register at the store, I noticed he'd cut off all the barcodes. FML

#20446465
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21965) - you deserved it (7022)

On 01/07/2013 at 4:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to the hospital with stomach pains. I found out I have mono, as well as a ruptured ovarian cyst, which may need surgery. I called my best friend for support, only for her to drunkenly yell at me for not being at her party, and that this could have waited till a better time. FML

#20452288
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26050) - you deserved it (3168)

On 01/10/2013 at 6:11pm - health - by thanksforthat (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML

#20446350
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21847) - you deserved it (1981)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:09pm - love - by Sawarski - United States

Today, I went to dinner with my girlfriend of 2 months. This would have been great, had I not been nodding absentmindedly when she suggested that we start planning our wedding soon, because "she's always dreamt of being married on the same day as Brad and Angelina." FML

#20440111
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18725) - you deserved it (19552)

On 01/03/2013 at 1:47am - love - by Brad (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a cyclone hit my city. Though everywhere else is flooding, my house is fine. Well, that was until the toilet decided to overflow and regurgitate the entire town's sewerage. So now my only bathroom is covered in sewage, and I can't go anywhere else because of the flooding. FML

#20481750
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24792) - you deserved it (1668)

On 01/27/2013 at 6:47pm - health - by shitday - Australia (Queensland)



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