Today, at a house party, I finally got the guy I've been seeing alone in his room. We started making out, and I got on top of him to take control. He responded by saying he couldn't do it because he needed to go make pizza for his friends, and then bolted out of the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29373) - you deserved it (6433)
On 01/02/2013 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got a new girlfriend. Unfortunately, the last girl I asked out just responded to my relationship request on Facebook. It's been 4 hours, and my new girlfriend already thinks I'm cheating on her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10501) - you deserved it (30304)
On 01/15/2013 at 3:53pm - love - by George - United States (Washington)
Today, instead of the traditional midnight kiss, my husband handed me divorce papers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38535) - you deserved it (4155)
On 01/01/2013 at 10:15am - misc - by Sarah - United States
Today, I learned that my doctor lost all of my immunization records. I can't start law school without them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17237) - you deserved it (874)
On 01/04/2013 at 3:51pm - health - by bureaucratic assfuckery (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, my girlfriend came back from visiting her family. She'd forgotten to take her pills, and decided to "catch up" by taking almost a week's worth of birth control and prescription pills. She's fine, but I had to convince the ER staff that she's not suicidal, just stupid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33531) - you deserved it (2883)
On 01/16/2013 at 1:26pm - health - by SF49 - United States
Today, I held a door open for a sweet old lady with a walker. After she went through the door, she turned and said, "That's not how you're gonna get into my pants, son." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29408) - you deserved it (2726)
On 01/18/2013 at 10:25am - misc - by Keastwood013 - United States
Today, I was on a ladder at work, fetching some stock from one of the storage shelves. Some teenage kid thought it would be fucking hilarious to grab the ladder and violently shake it. He hadn't bet on me being startled enough to fall off and fracture my elbow on the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27819) - you deserved it (1765)
On 01/27/2013 at 4:59pm - health - by fucking teen cunts (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my hubby asked for a morning blow job, and I happily obliged. All was going great until he came and farted at the same time. I laughed and reassured him it was no big deal. He cried. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37267) - you deserved it (3536)
On 01/21/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by airbiscuit (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)
Today, I was getting a spray tan and realized I didn't have a hair tie, so I used a thong instead. I lost track of time and realized I needed to go pick up my daughter. I threw on my clothes, drove to pick her up, went to the store, and went for ice cream... thong still in my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9967) - you deserved it (30466)
On 01/02/2013 at 12:33pm - health - by Embarrassed - United States
Today, both my brother and sister missed my wedding. She was playing in a Call of Duty tournament, and he got so high that he forgot about the wedding completely. He was my best man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40541) - you deserved it (2333)
On 01/14/2013 at 12:36pm - misc - by What a happy day (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my husband asked me to show him my boob. I began to pull the side of my shirt down when he said, "No, not that one, the big one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (32011) - you deserved it (2795)
On 01/21/2013 at 9:27pm - intimacy - by sarah6786 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my school's ski trip got canceled, because "All the snow makes the roads unsafe." We can't go skiing because it's snowing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29534) - you deserved it (2119)
On 01/25/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my mum got a new blender. Dinner was roast beef, broccoli, cauliflower, pumpkin, potatoes and water. In a cup. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29530) - you deserved it (2051)
On 01/31/2013 at 5:28am - health - by I'maboutobarf - Australia
Monday 20 May 2013
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