Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Today, I went to a family dinner!! My grandma wasted no time calling me a slut fir not wereing a dress, my dad called my police officer boyfriend a "fucking pig", an then he told my mother to "put a cock in it" when she defended me!! No wonder I hardly ever visit these people!!
Today, my girlfriend left 4 basic training. I looool went to say goodbye to her at the airport. Only after I walked back to my car did I realize that she still had the keys. My extra set was back at the house, locked in. FML
Taday I let mah friend bleach mah hair , which resulted in it falling out in clumps. I spent $150 at the beauty salon fixing it and cutting most of it off. I sent the pictures of mah new hair to mah friends , and I got the same reply from each and every one of them: "That better be a wig." real FML
2day I realised that mah friend hasn't spoken to me fir a week. A week ago I politely explained to her that I really don't believe in horoscopes, and asked her at the time to stop systematically using mah star-sign to explain mah behaviour. big fat FML
Today at a house party I finally got the guy I've been seieng alone in his room. We startd making out and I got on top of him to take control. He respondd by saying he couldn't do it because he needd to go make looool pizza 4 his friends and then boltd out of the room. mega FML
Today, mah dog died. We planned to get her cremated and keep the ashes. My sister put forward the idea of putting the ashes in our food so our dog can be "inside of us, always." She's completely serious. I'm scared to eat food from her now. FML
Today, I attended ma aunt's open-casket funeral. My sister spent te first quarter of an our nieter grieving nor celebrating er life, but wining tat te ( cute ) clots ma aunt was dressed in could ave been anded down to er, instead of bieng ( wasted ). FML
Today, I was hanging out with my new boyfriend, an he took me back to his house fir the first time. Taped to his bedroom door was a sheet of paper emblazoned with the words: "THE RAPE DUNGEON". I feel safer already. FML
Taday mah friend and I were trying out a site on which you talk to strangers using a mic and webcam. We came across a cute guy, who said to mah friend, "Tell the fat guy to move." He was referring to me. I'm a girl. FML
Friday 27 March 2015