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January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

#20466884
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36555) - you deserved it (3557)

On 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by methane overload (man) - United States

Today, I learned who my dad's new fiancée is. Upon meeting her she exclaimed, "My, I haven't seen you in a while!" She's my ex-boyfriend's mom. FML

#20450908
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36257) - you deserved it (3005)

On 01/09/2013 at 10:15pm - love - by wtf dad - United States (Missouri)

Today, I realised in the middle of my shift how useless my deodorant is in the stifling heatwave spreading through my country. It's no longer effective against my awful B.O., which is a problem because I'm a mascot, and my costume traps the smell inside like a portable toilet. FML

#20469816
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29973) - you deserved it (4649)

On 01/20/2013 at 5:13pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, at my cousin's birthday party, my grandma took me to one side, slipped me a pad, and started ranting that tampons "steal your virginity" and that I should never use them. Well, okay then. FML

#20481357
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28050) - you deserved it (2142)

On 01/27/2013 at 2:08pm - misc - by dynah114 (woman) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, my boyfriend called me anti-social. To prove him wrong I texted one of my friends. She texted back, "Who's this??" FML

#20442068
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19831) - you deserved it (7175)

On 01/04/2013 at 1:18am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, while at work, a Beatles song came on the radio. I jokingly said, "These guys are pretty good, are they new?" Everyone thought I was being serious, and now they're convinced I'm an idiot. FML

#20446711
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16012) - you deserved it (32198)

On 01/07/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by EffUrEll - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a bull escaped from the small farm down the street. It ended up in my yard and would not let me outside. I called animal control, who said, "We only deal with regular animals." FML

#20465397
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32710) - you deserved it (2160)

On 01/17/2013 at 10:48pm - animals - by bull-stuff - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was babysitting, and a little girl asked for help with her homework. I cheerfully began an explanation, only to freeze mid-sentence. I could not for the life of me remember how to do long-division. I'm about to graduate from Cornell University, and her little brother had to correct me. FML

#20459773
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31523) - you deserved it (9558)

On 01/14/2013 at 9:52pm - kids - by IvyLeague? - United States (New York)

Today, my sister's boyfriend called while she was out. The second I answered he tried to have phone sex with me. When I explained to him that I wasn't my sister and that we just sound the same on the phone, he replied, "Don't care, let's keep going." FML

#20484366
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45817) - you deserved it (4536)

On 01/29/2013 at 4:40am - intimacy - by Awkward... (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I dragged my boyfriend to see Les Misérables with me. He now refuses to communicate with me through any medium other than singing. Apparently, this is his revenge. FML

#20471580
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16152) - you deserved it (46517)

On 01/21/2013 at 4:39pm - love - by lesson.learned (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I was driving my 9 month pregnant sister around in our golf cart and it died. I had to push it the rest of the way home. She wouldn't stop faking going into labor. FML

#20477938
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31357) - you deserved it (4051)

On 01/25/2013 at 10:49am - misc - by really?!? - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was driving around with a few friends when one of them suggested we go in to an insurance company's office and sing their jingle. I'm an awful singer, so I was planning on lip syncing. Everyone else had the same idea. FML

#20487138
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10880) - you deserved it (33618)

On 01/31/2013 at 12:40am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, during the countdown to midnight, I looked for my girlfriend so I could kiss her as 2013 began. I found her just in time to see her making out with some guy she swore was "only a friend." FML

#20435586
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46208) - you deserved it (3313)

On 01/01/2013 at 2:50am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)



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