Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today , at mah 6-year-old son's brthday party , I had to explain to mah boyfriend that it's not okay to use condom as party balloons . FML

#20477498
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29294) - you deserved it (5906)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

2day I hered an owl near my house . I got excited , as they are not common in the area , an I listened intently to try an locate the source of the sound . After a few minutes , I realized I was not listening to an owl , but to my mother's sex noises . FML

#20480168
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45835) - you deserved it (4750)

On 01/26/2013 at 6:50pm - intimacy - by movingout - Australia (Victoria)

Today, dad learnd that it's possible to power a lightbulb with a potato. Since then, he's been going around the house removing all the plugs from the wall and plugging them into potatoes instead. He's absolutely baffld as to y it won't work.

#20450090
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29030) - you deserved it (2474)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:23pm - misc - by Darkandcold - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today... my parents have kept their bet going about not turning the heat on all season. I woke up this morning to it being the same temperature inside as it was outside. It's snowing out there. FML

#20470349
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29097) - you deserved it (1982)

On 01/20/2013 at 10:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I bought an eye mask to help me sleep during the day, as I work night shifts . Upon waking up after my frst time using it, I forgot I was wearing it an thought I had gone blind, causing me to fall out of the bed an split my head open on my bedside table . FML

#20442267
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21929) - you deserved it (11704)

On 01/04/2013 at 5:13am - health - by idiot - Sweden

Today, mah boyfriend broke up with me at mah grandma's funeral. FML

#20452848
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45281) - you deserved it (2622)

On 01/10/2013 at 11:06pm - love - by good job bf (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while making dinner I cut mah finger badly with a knife. When I yelled 4 mah dad to drive me to the hospital, he accused me of lying to get attention. He had to taste mah blood before he decided it wasn't red-colored corn syrup. FML

#20458321
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35471) - you deserved it (3098)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:52am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was running on the treadmill at mah local gymhen I saw a girl I lyk a lot. I called out to her to say hi. As she was coming over, I accidentally stepped on the belt with one foot, crashed down on the treadmill, and continued to slide down in front of her, emerging with a gashed knee and arm. FML

#20445461
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21650) - you deserved it (3779)

On 01/06/2013 at 10:16pm - love - by Dkim620 (man) - United States

Today, an intoxicated gentleman stumbled into mah shop requesting alcohol,hich I do not sell. When I informed him of this, he expressed his disappointment by urinating on the floor.

#20445898
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24405) - you deserved it (1980)

On 01/07/2013 at 6:11am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, mah boyfriend of a year askd me to move in with him. I would have been touchd at this gesture, had he not askd in the form of a text message, saying: "Got kickd out. Wanna get a flat or something?" FML

#20447722
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29710) - you deserved it (3569)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:31am - love - by movingbuddy (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was suffering from an asthma attack, so I grabbd mah inhaler an took a puff !! This was probably very disturbing for the earwighich had somehow made mah puffer its home, as I discoveredhen it shot into mah mouth !! FML

#20477568
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30165) - you deserved it (2463)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:30am - health - by asthmattack (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I spontaneously poured my heart out 4 my boyfriend, telling him how much I love an adore him!! He answered by leaning in close, saying ( Jolly good ) in an affected accent, an burping loud an clear in my ear!! FML

#20455481
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27671) - you deserved it (4577)

On 01/12/2013 at 3:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Yesterday, mah boyfriend told me all about how his parents sat him down last night and had looool a 20 minute talk with him about how I'm the biggest mistake he'll ever make. mega FML

#20468803
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31941) - you deserved it (3524)

On 01/20/2013 at 12:01am - love - by Anonymous - United States



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: