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January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to take a shower. Afterwards, I noticed I'd forgotten to bring a shirt to change into, so I put on a towel and went back to my room, only to witness my 14-year-old brother and a friend smelling my bra, commenting on "how warm it is". FML

Today, my roommate stumbled in drunk at 5am with 3 Big Macs, and passed out on the floor after eating them. This happens almost every night. I stay in, study, work, and go to the gym almost everyday. And she still has better grades, a better body, and makes more money than me. FML

#20436604
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55692) - you deserved it (4358)

On 01/01/2013 at 4:00pm - misc - by apparentlythereisnokarma - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the rollercoaster I was on stuck upside down for a few minutes. I shat myself in terror. Then, gravity took effect. FML

#20480979
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44044) - you deserved it (10336)

On 01/27/2013 at 6:10am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, after a long, horrible day at work and some fighting with my family and my girlfriend, I decided to cheer myself up by going to McDonald's for a change. I burst into tears when the cashier told me they couldn't make me a Mars McFlurry because they'd run out of ingredients. FML

#20460946
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39261) - you deserved it (8301)

On 01/15/2013 at 3:56pm - misc - by Anonymous - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Some guy grabbed her ass, and I tried to fight him. I ended up with a concussion and a messed up jaw. Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious. FML

#20435818
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44130) - you deserved it (14630)

On 01/01/2013 at 5:30am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML

#20460283
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21869) - you deserved it (39673)

On 01/15/2013 at 2:33am - animals - by I think its dead (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I had lunch with an attractive foreign exchange student from Dresden. After bombarding her with questions about Russia, she smiled and kindly told me that Dresden is in Germany. Everyone laughed. FML

Today, I bought my first house, blowing nearly all my savings on the deposit. I had left myself enough for just a couple of necessary bits of furniture. It turns out the previous owner completely stripped the house when he left, taking the oven and even the toilet with him, amongst other things. FML

#20472701
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34397) - you deserved it (12904)

On 01/22/2013 at 3:27am - money - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I was cleaning one of my disabled clients because he pooped himself, so I started to undress him for a shower. I took his dirty diaper off and set it on his bed, then I bent over to take off his socks at which point he put the diaper on my head like a hat. FML

#20438439
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53995) - you deserved it (4997)

On 01/02/2013 at 10:49am - work - by habassistant - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was getting a haircut. The lady accusingly told me she'd have to thoroughly wash my hair before she started, as it was way too greasy to cut through. FML

#20473123
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10310) - you deserved it (45059)

On 01/22/2013 at 2:18pm - misc - by Whoops (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my husband and I found the perfect house, in our price range and everything we wanted in a house. However, the street it's on is called "Arbour Butte Road". My husband refuses to buy it because he doesn't want it to sound like he lives "in a tree's ass." I'm married to an idiot. FML

#20451265
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32586) - you deserved it (6076)

On 01/10/2013 at 12:53am - misc - by it's just a name (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to suffer through a two-hour long trivia game with my boyfriend's family. As if that wasn't annoying enough, my boyfriend caused the pair of us to lose by just a single point, because he answered "Quebec" to the question of "What is the capital city of France?" FML

#20480093
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31630) - you deserved it (6931)

On 01/26/2013 at 5:57pm - misc - by twohoursclosertodeath (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML

#20478409
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41111) - you deserved it (5794)

On 01/25/2013 at 5:19pm - health - by LagSwitchFTW (woman) - United Kingdom



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