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January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my uncle keeps spamming me on Facebook with friend suggestions. Most of them are people he met on porn sites. FML

#20443243
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14148) - you deserved it (1014)

On 01/05/2013 at 12:37am - misc - by tftm - United States (Illinois)

Today, a four-year-old said a word that I didn't know the meaning of. I had to look up the definition. FML

#20465228
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12351) - you deserved it (28276)

On 01/17/2013 at 9:31pm - kids - by walkingdictionary - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got married. I'm Jewish, and it's traditional to break a glass cup by stepping on it after giving the bride her ring. My brother thought it would be funny to replace the glass cup with a rubber one. I slipped and fell flat on my back. FML

#20478247
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27068) - you deserved it (2603)

On 01/25/2013 at 3:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while making dinner I cut my finger badly with a knife. When I yelled for my dad to drive me to the hospital, he accused me of lying to get attention. He had to taste my blood before he decided it wasn't red-colored corn syrup. FML

#20458321
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28468) - you deserved it (2030)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:52am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, while moving into my new place, I saw my new, elderly neighbor sitting on her porch. I cheerfully greeted her with, "Hello, how are you?" She simply rocked slowly in her chair and replied, "Just waiting to die." She was the most cheerful person I met all day. FML

Today, my dad learned that it's possible to power a lightbulb with a potato. Since then, he's been going around the house removing all the plugs from the wall and plugging them into potatoes instead. He's absolutely baffled as to why it won't work. FML

#20450090
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22383) - you deserved it (1681)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:23pm - misc - by Darkandcold - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, while at the gym, my boyfriend wouldn't stop texting me. I was confident enough to text while on the treadmill. Bad idea: I hit myself on the bar and tripped in front of everyone. FML

#20472626
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7700) - you deserved it (24555)

On 01/22/2013 at 1:50am - love - by Roxy19 - United States (California)

Today, I found out my ten year old brother and his best friend have taught our new parrot to say, "Shut up, bitch." We have a bunch of our extended family coming over tomorrow to see what the parrot can say. FML

#20473087
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20880) - you deserved it (2530)

On 01/22/2013 at 2:00pm - animals - by What? - Australia

Today, I found out that there's something my new wife hates more than spiders. Black people. FML

#20441551
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19278) - you deserved it (4097)

On 01/03/2013 at 9:19pm - health - by WellShit (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, after getting into an argument with my dad, he told me that I would make a great ex wife one day. FML

#20467602
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23038) - you deserved it (5005)

On 01/19/2013 at 8:51am - love - by Claire - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me at my grandma's funeral. FML

#20452848
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37310) - you deserved it (2156)

On 01/10/2013 at 11:06pm - love - by good job bf (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was walking my dog when he decided that he was too lazy to continue walking. It ended up with me looking like a crazy dog lady carrying my medium-sized dog home. FML

#20448490
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19849) - you deserved it (3396)

On 01/08/2013 at 6:56pm - animals - by life// (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, trying to be sweet, I told my girlfriend that I'm so happy we met one another. She muttered, "Well, that makes one of us." FML

#20453944
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24359) - you deserved it (2053)

On 01/11/2013 at 5:22pm - misc - by wtf did i do?? (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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