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December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a guy professed his love for me in front of my friends. The guy is my first cousin. FML

#20414731
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35734) - you deserved it (2932)

On 12/22/2012 at 9:33pm - love - by Brittany (woman) - United States

Today, my son got suspended from school. He's in kindergarten. FML

#20201910
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25325) - you deserved it (6484)

On 12/12/2012 at 1:32pm - kids - by Renzy (woman) -

Today, while lighting a cigarette, I learned the hard way that the amount of styling mousse I used to get my curly hair to become manageable, is the roughly same amount that causes it to become highly flammable. FML

#20186892
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7703) - you deserved it (18985)

On 12/01/2012 at 5:11pm - health - by Awkward (woman) - Bahrain

Today, in my AP Biology class, a student informed us she'd read that Antarctica had completely melted due to global warming, to which my friend gushed, "Yeah! It's been melted for, like, months." FML

#20193921
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19220) - you deserved it (1665)

On 12/06/2012 at 3:47pm - misc - by bieberslayer (woman) - United States

Today, while going on a jog through the countryside, I discovered that it is actually possible outside of crappy TV shows to have a rifle leveled at you, and to be shouted at to, "Get off my land." FML

#20432522
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18281) - you deserved it (15415)

On 12/30/2012 at 6:48pm - misc - by fuckinghicks (man) - United States

Today, while talking to my boyfriend, he got upset and accused me of making up words to make him feel stupid. All because I used the word "vapid." FML

#20414233
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21447) - you deserved it (5669)

On 12/22/2012 at 5:19pm - misc - by seriously? (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, on the bus, when I was asking my 6-year-old son what he wanted for Christmas, a stranger came up to us and yelled at him about how Santa Claus is not real, that his "parents are fucking liars" and that he should "never listen to anything one of those fuckers says." FML

#20200046
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26708) - you deserved it (2571)

On 12/11/2012 at 2:15am - kids - by n1a1t1h1a1n1 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML

#20189170
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24845) - you deserved it (3456)

On 12/03/2012 at 6:53am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, after ranting to my boyfriend about how Pandora bracelets are pointless and cliched and that I'd never spend that kind of money on a tiny charm, he gave me my Christmas present. It was a Pandora bracelet. FML

Today, while at the airport waiting for my flight, I sat down next to a mother and her son. As I pulled out a water bottle, she leaned over to her son and said, "Promise me you will never do what the man next to you just did." I have no idea what the hell I did wrong. FML

Today, my parents heard from my sister that I'd recently lost my virginity to my girlfriend. I've never been bitched out so viciously in my life, and yet my sister, whom everyone knows has had numerous casual sexual partners this year, is treated like a princess 24/7. FML

#20188038
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21867) - you deserved it (1709)

On 12/02/2012 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I was slapped across the face by a girl in the waiting room at the dentist's office. She thought I was taking a picture of her breasts with my phone. I was smiling while reading other people's FMLs. FML

#20189568
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34781) - you deserved it (2828)

On 12/03/2012 at 3:35pm - misc - by karmamaybe - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I tried to impress a girl at the gym on the squat rack, but let out a big fart. She was grossed out and laughed at me with her friends. Her boyfriend came over and told me I was a dead man, and I'd better leave. I'm now the proud owner of a year membership at a gym I can't go to. FML

#20425068
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17741) - you deserved it (23236)

On 12/27/2012 at 1:46am - health - by pipefitter28 (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



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