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December 2012

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Today, someone painted the "Dark Mark" on the side of my car. It won't come off and my kids refuse to get in because it means "a wizard died in there." FML

#20407286
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33723) - you deserved it (3662)

On 12/19/2012 at 9:59am - kids - by spellbound - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I baked some regular brownies for my friend. Just to mess with him, after he ate some, I said they had weed in them. He trashed my room in anger, and still won't believe me when I tell him that I didn't actually slip him any drugs. FML

#20411716
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10389) - you deserved it (35302)

On 12/21/2012 at 3:48pm - misc - by mateyouremental - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my workplace was having a raffle and was giving away a Venus shaving kit. A co-worker won, but instead of keeping it, she walked over and handed the basket to me in front of everyone, said "You need it more" and walked away. FML

#20433619
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30042) - you deserved it (5946)

On 12/31/2012 at 5:17am - work - by shaving kit (woman) -

Today, my mom found her CD of cats and dogs singing Christmas songs. That is what I'll be listening to until Christmas. FML

#20186305
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19788) - you deserved it (1612)

On 12/01/2012 at 5:00am - misc - by hinowdie - United States

Today, when my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I got a nose bleed. He gave me a shirt to plug it with and kept going. FML

#20195821
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26967) - you deserved it (4750)

On 12/08/2012 at 12:33am - intimacy - by anon - United States

Today, I realized something: when other people are drunk, they dance around and make out with people. When I'm drunk, I apparently think it's a great idea to chew on electrical cords. FML

#20429355
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16606) - you deserved it (27925)

On 12/29/2012 at 2:30am - misc - by almostkilledmyself - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my crazy psychopath of a neighbor sent me an email with the subject, "So, about your sex life." I've been sitting here for 20 minutes staring at it because I'm too scared to open it. FML

#20189915
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32777) - you deserved it (3400)

On 12/03/2012 at 7:53pm - intimacy - by schooyou101 - United States (Kansas)

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time; he asked me to explain my interest in dating her. In a mix of me trying to say "I want to be with your daughter" and "I want to be in your daughter's life" I got confused and said, "I want to be in your daughter." FML

#20198676
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31600) - you deserved it (6249)

On 12/10/2012 at 2:21am - love - by Tonguetied0496 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML

#20418972
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39815) - you deserved it (5762)

On 12/24/2012 at 2:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my skydiving instructor casually remarked that he wouldn't mind "diving into" me sometime. He was strapped to my back the whole way down. FML

#20434488
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36295) - you deserved it (3235)

On 12/31/2012 at 5:44pm - intimacy - by _The__Doctor_ (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my daughter wore my favorite Christmas sweater to an ugly sweater party. FML

#20201801
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20819) - you deserved it (8797)

On 12/12/2012 at 11:05am - kids - by Saduglydad - United States (Texas)

Today, while doing our Christmas shopping, my sister showed me a product that she really hated. The same one I bought her for Christmas. FML

#20403689
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27756) - you deserved it (3966)

On 12/17/2012 at 1:16pm - money - by bob (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I had to watch my drunk girlfriend yell at a cat for not having periods. The worst part is that she was at a pet store. The pet store at which I work. FML

#20431107
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28377) - you deserved it (3270)

On 12/30/2012 at 12:20am - misc - by Wtf is wrong with her (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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