Today, I took my 5-year old daughter to get a photo taken with Santa, when she asked the dreaded question of why this Santa looked different from one at the other store. Before I could placate her, some cunt of a kid yelled, "Because he's not real, dumbass!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (29516) - you deserved it (4237)
On 12/23/2012 at 4:36pm - kids - by still had to pay (man) - Australia
Today, I walked in on my son and his friend comparing their penis sizes. They're 6. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29596) - you deserved it (3697)
On 12/23/2012 at 1:02am - misc - by oh my son - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45431) - you deserved it (3202)
On 12/26/2012 at 2:30pm - misc - by gaggin - United States (California)
Today, I tried to impress a girl at the gym on the squat rack, but let out a big fart. She was grossed out and laughed at me with her friends. Her boyfriend came over and told me I was a dead man, and I'd better leave. I'm now the proud owner of a year membership at a gym I can't go to. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15136) - you deserved it (16971)
On 12/27/2012 at 1:46am - health - by pipefitter28 (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27842) - you deserved it (9459)
On 12/20/2012 at 12:30am - intimacy - by djl (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, at the gas station, the automatic door didn't open when I approached it. I asked the cashier to open it for me, joking that because I'm a redhead, I didn't have a soul and it wouldn't open for me. The cashier freaked and wouldn't let me go until I proved I had a soul. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18860) - you deserved it (3648)
On 12/11/2012 at 1:07am - misc - by Devil (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was burgled while I was on the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24645) - you deserved it (2481)
On 12/16/2012 at 11:55am - misc - by emchocolat (woman) - Europe
Today, I followed my neighbor's advice and sprayed Sprite on my Christmas tree because it will "make it live longer." I just came downstairs to find my Christmas tree covered in ants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4761) - you deserved it (25737)
On 12/01/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Chuffy - United States (Colorado)
Today, "The Phantom of the Opera" soundtrack blasted me awake at 4 am. Not knowing how it got on my iPod, I checked and found I had bought the whole $17.00 album in my sleep. This is the second time this month; the first time I downloaded the soundtrack from "The Wizard of Oz". FML
I agree, your life sucks (19181) - you deserved it (4169)
On 12/10/2012 at 12:10am - money - by hailey - United States (Maryland)
Today, as my 12 hour shift was about to finish, a young boy came in wanting to buy a $200 gaming device. His mom said he was purchasing it with his own money, which I found admirable. That is, until he took his piggy bank out of his backpack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18271) - you deserved it (1263)
On 12/14/2012 at 12:10am - kids - by Ethan_18 - United States
Today, my boyfriend grabbed my boob, shook it savagely, and shouted "Earthquake!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26291) - you deserved it (7443)
On 12/17/2012 at 6:12pm - misc - by Ape (woman) - United States
Today, I asked my girlfriend to marry me. She pretended not to hear me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42815) - you deserved it (3323)
On 12/22/2012 at 7:50am - love - by anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I went Christmas shopping for my cat. I still haven't bought presents for my family, yet my cat already has several small gifts under the tree and an outfit to wear around the house. I really need a new hobby. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7316) - you deserved it (23517)
On 12/13/2012 at 6:04am - animals - by catlover - Australia (Victoria)
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
