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December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my dad grounded me for two weeks for profusely swearing at my misbehaving laptop. After some arguing, he actually accepted my half-joking offer to play a game of CoD over it. His condition was that if I lost, my grounding period would double. We played. He kicked my ass. FML

#20185812
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7108) - you deserved it (29295)

On 11/30/2012 at 8:28pm - misc - by goodbye cruel world (man) - United States (California)

Today, I came home from the hospital diagnosed with high blood pressure. It's caused by stress. My wife had a very long talk with my son about it. All the kid has been doing for the past 2 hours is scream at his Playstation. I'd rather be at the hospital. FML

#20188739
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19603) - you deserved it (2879)

On 12/02/2012 at 11:03pm - kids - by Nick (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML

#20191552
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12007) - you deserved it (28212)

On 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm - work - by whitecollar - United Kingdom (York)

Today, my husband discovered poking me in my belly button makes me have to pee, sometimes it's uncontrollable and happens immediately. He thinks it's hilarious and decided it's his new favorite game. FML

#20186585
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25878) - you deserved it (2593)

On 12/01/2012 at 12:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my daughter called me to pick her up at the mall. She said I had to meet her inside a specific store, so I figured she wanted me to pay for something. Turns out I was right, she was being arrested for shoplifting. FML

#20193017
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24124) - you deserved it (2396)

On 12/05/2012 at 9:32pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my ex adopted a dog from the dog pound. It was the same dog he made me get rid of while we were still together. FML

#20401539
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27264) - you deserved it (7491)

On 12/16/2012 at 12:49am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I took a bath because I couldn't get my left arm wet due to a minor medical procedure. My roommates decided to barge in to the bathroom and ruthlessly pelt me with flour. Not only did I find out flour burns the eyes, but the shock caused me to slip and submerge my arm. FML

#20408309
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34755) - you deserved it (2658)

On 12/20/2012 at 12:55am - health - by antiqued - United States (California)

Today, I sent in an assignment from my batshit insane teacher. The assignment was to read a poem, analyze it, and make a comic of its plot. This would've been fine if the teacher who assigned it to me didn't teach math. FML

Today, I had to break up with my boyfriend when I caught him installing cameras in my bathroom. FML

#20403401
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40479) - you deserved it (4325)

On 12/17/2012 at 7:25am - love - by Sarah (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I dutifully attended my husband's local gig at a coffee shop. I thus found out, through song, about my husband's affair, in front of about 100 people. All of whom we both know. FML

Today, I flew from Australia to the UK to meet the woman I love. After two years of talking, and having gotten a love letter for my birthday a few months prior, I was convinced we'd have a great time. Turns out she doesn't know what she feels for me. I'm staying with her for the next 35 days. FML

#20201791
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22776) - you deserved it (8008)

On 12/12/2012 at 10:56am - love - by RabbitOfAurora - United Kingdom (Hounslow)

Today, while trying to take my Christmas tree down, I learned that at some point during the last few weeks, it became home to a colony of green ants. I'm now covered in bites and terrified to go anywhere near it. FML

#20426337
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25320) - you deserved it (2689)

On 12/27/2012 at 5:54pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, my drunk girlfriend maxed out my credit card, on an "authentic" Jesus Christ autograph on eBay. FML

#20397287
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27921) - you deserved it (4722)

On 12/12/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by maxedoutidiot - United States



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

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FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

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