Today, my boyfriend sent me so many nice texts that he made me fall in love with him that little bit more. It turns out he was sweetening me up before telling me he cheated on me the night before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21758) - you deserved it (1462)
On 12/05/2012 at 6:29am - love - by brokenhearted (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, my pregnant girlfriend gave me back the ring I'd used to propose with a week ago. Her reason? She only said yes because she was worried the real father of the baby wasn't going to stick around. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31642) - you deserved it (272)
On 12/05/2012 at 5:52am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, after sharing my first night in bed with my boyfriend, I woke up early, and decided to rouse him with some surprise oral. It didn't go so well; he woke up screaming and gasped, "OH MY GOD! I thought you were my cat!" before telling me to continue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30951) - you deserved it (5387)
On 12/21/2012 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by anonymaiacciu (woman) - France
Today, I was sleeping on an airplane. I dreamed that I was running my hands up and down my friend's leg sexually to creep him out. I woke up and I realized that I was running my hand up and down the leg of the old man sitting next to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26769) - you deserved it (15160)
On 12/20/2012 at 9:49am - intimacy - by joyness (woman) - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)
Today, I was walking in the park, when a kid ran up and hit me in the stomach. He said, "Don't get mad, get glad!" and ran off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23158) - you deserved it (2716)
On 12/29/2012 at 2:41am - kids - by shadowreaper101 (man) - United States (California)
Today, I auditioned for a role in ballet. My stomach was in pain and as I ran to be lifted into the air by my partner, I let out a huge fart. The auditorium was dead silent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30837) - you deserved it (2878)
On 12/29/2012 at 4:32am - misc - by gassy - United States (Washington)
Today, my dog did something I had no idea he could do. He participated in an all-male three-way at the dog park. In front of everyone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15585) - you deserved it (1483)
On 12/10/2012 at 7:04pm - animals - by MoreActionThanMe - United States
Today, my girlfriend showed me a print of a Banksy that she'd just bought, telling me it was an original. When I tried to argue that it wasn't, she broke up with me for "implying she was a moron." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13324) - you deserved it (1652)
On 12/04/2012 at 11:17am - love - by Single (man) - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)
Today, after a romantic dinner, movie, and stroll in the park, we had our first kiss. It would have been perfect, had a passerby not thrown rubbish at us for "unnecessary public display of affection." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16941) - you deserved it (2389)
On 12/07/2012 at 7:39am - love - by First Kiss - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was at my job as a cashier when a man called me his "Grocery Slave." I was almost offended, but then I thought about my salary. I am a Grocery Slave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25313) - you deserved it (2541)
On 12/19/2012 at 12:17am - work - by ehrmagahd (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my ex adopted a dog from the dog pound. It was the same dog he made me get rid of while we were still together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19293) - you deserved it (5055)
On 12/16/2012 at 12:49am - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29997) - you deserved it (2654)
On 12/26/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by geewhy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my mom hung her new "Christmas Clock" on the wall. It plays a different Christmas carol every hour, on the hour. It's only December 2nd and I'm already starting to understand why suicide rates sky rocket this time of year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16262) - you deserved it (1476)
On 12/02/2012 at 11:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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