Today, I came home to find a pregnancy test in my trashcan. I live alone with my boyfriend and I'm not pregnant. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32305) - you deserved it (1939)
On 12/29/2012 at 7:22pm - love - by melas303 - United States
Today, my 6-year-old nephew opened his Christmas gift. The first words out of his mouth were, "This is cheap." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25353) - you deserved it (4794)
On 12/28/2012 at 2:03am - kids - by UngratefulBrat - United States (New York)
Today, the highly intoxicated singer of my band decided it would be a wonderful idea to squat down and take a shit on stage in the middle of a gig. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31440) - you deserved it (3270)
On 12/20/2012 at 3:16am - misc - by dudeyouarefired -
Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating, because I tipped our waitress at dinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20105) - you deserved it (1628)
On 12/01/2012 at 12:59am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my family for the first time. My mother's immediate reaction was, "We didn't know you were gay!" No mom, she really is a girl. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21199) - you deserved it (1632) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 12/12/2012 at 12:29am - love - by Karim - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)
Today, I overheard my parents fighting about who has been the most loyal. I found out my Dad has cheated twice, and is still the most faithful of the two. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21580) - you deserved it (1026)
On 12/10/2012 at 6:41am - love - by slenderman908 - United States (Michigan)
Today, I told my husband to tell me his wildest fantasy. He told me it was to put on fake antlers and "do it like deer". FML
I agree, your life sucks (25688) - you deserved it (4877)
On 12/23/2012 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Kasey Eames - United States (California)
Today, my dad forced the whole family to sit through a two-hour lecture, with supporting research, on how the "Mayan prophecy" is actually a load of shit fabricated by conmen. Nice to know he thinks we're all borderline brain-dead, gullible fuckwits who believed it to begin with. Thanks, dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14214) - you deserved it (2946)
On 12/15/2012 at 1:43pm - misc - by oh gee, you don't say (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)
Today, I had plans for a romantic night with my boyfriend, who is perfect in every way possible. We were going to have sex for the first time as well. Unfortunately, I had a dream last night about him shitting all over me and I can't look at him with a straight face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24922) - you deserved it (9323)
On 12/17/2012 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, after having sex for the first time with my girlfriend, I realised I was in love with her. I noticed she had an eyelash on her breast. After tugging it a few times I realised it was actually a single black nipple hair. She was so embarrassed, she kicked me out and now won't return my calls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22066) - you deserved it (17306)
On 12/27/2012 at 10:06pm - intimacy - by ohman (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)
Today, I took a bath because I couldn't get my left arm wet due to a minor medical procedure. My roommates decided to barge in to the bathroom and ruthlessly pelt me with flour. Not only did I find out flour burns the eyes, but the shock caused me to slip and submerge my arm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29032) - you deserved it (1971)
On 12/20/2012 at 12:55am - health - by antiqued - United States (California)
Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19848) - you deserved it (3293)
On 12/15/2012 at 7:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I was riding the train and someone farted. Everyone looked at me. People always blame farts on the fat guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21966) - you deserved it (4356)
On 12/04/2012 at 11:04am - misc - by Banana (man) - Puerto Rico
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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