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December 2012

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Today, someone painted the "Dark Mark" on the side of my car. It won't come off and my kids refuse to get in because it means "a wizard died in there." FML

#20407286
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35898) - you deserved it (3888)

On 12/19/2012 at 9:59am - kids - by spellbound - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my dad asked me when I was going to start looking for a job. Jokingly, I told him next year. He got pissed, started to yell, then realized Tuesday is New Year's Day and grounded me for "being a dumbass." FML

#20432925
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29617) - you deserved it (8546)

On 12/30/2012 at 10:51pm - work - by BAMN2187 - United States

Today, it was my first time at the club. I saw a really cute girl. I finally worked up the courage to ask her to dance. Before I even got within five feet of her, she looked me in the eyes and vehemently shook her head. I did a 180. My friends saw everything. They are still laughing. FML

#20413213
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38076) - you deserved it (4348)

On 12/22/2012 at 6:21am - misc - by divingconfidence (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I received my soccer team jacket that I ordered a month ago. Trying to save money, I'd selected the "no name" option to avoid an extra $20 embroidering fee. My jacket now has "NO NAME" spelled out on the side of it, and I was charged the extra $20 dollars after all. FML

#20415162
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39421) - you deserved it (7220)

On 12/23/2012 at 12:01am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, I found out that my wife, who is supposed to be a recovering alcoholic, drank an entire bottle of wine and then tried to hide it at the bottom of a garbage bin. To make matters worse, when I confronted her about it, she tried to convince me that our 5-year-old daughter had drunk it. FML

#20194263
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27400) - you deserved it (1910)

On 12/06/2012 at 8:07pm - misc - by Matt8 (man) - United States

Today, as my friend was rudely rummaging through my phone, she saw a picture of the pottery I've painted her for Christmas. Not only did she see it, but she also declared it ugly. That's probably the present I'm the most proud of this Christmas. FML

#20193344
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23839) - you deserved it (2248)

On 12/06/2012 at 1:15am - misc - by a - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I woke up to find our Christmas tree knocked over, unwrapped presents scattered everywhere, and my mom passed out on the sofa with a bottle of booze. Merry Christmas. FML

#20419854
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39627) - you deserved it (2610)

On 12/24/2012 at 10:20pm - misc - by Julie (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out what the two girls I sit near to fight about every day: seating. The loser has to sit next to me. FML

#20189404
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20253) - you deserved it (1785)

On 12/03/2012 at 12:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend read online that oversleeping has been linked to strokes later in life. He's now taken it upon himself to protect me by making sure that I have as minimal sleep as possible. FML

#20429358
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32437) - you deserved it (3039)

On 12/29/2012 at 2:33am - love - by nosleep (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend and I were in the mood for something different. So we decided to have sex in the shower. When we were finished I heard a voice outside the door asking if we needed a towel. It was my mother. FML

#20401581
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34015) - you deserved it (17331)

On 12/16/2012 at 1:25am - intimacy - by Steve - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was waiting in line to use the bathroom. I complained to the guy next to me about how long the lady was taking. I kept making jokes about it, but he never seemed to laugh. Finally, the door opened and out came a lady in a wheelchair. The guy next to me was her husband. FML

#20407423
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9443) - you deserved it (61586)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom found her CD of cats and dogs singing Christmas songs. That is what I'll be listening to until Christmas. FML

#20186305
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21987) - you deserved it (1787)

On 12/01/2012 at 5:00am - misc - by hinowdie - United States

Today, I bought some expensive fabric softener since I'm not too keen on my detergent's smell. Only after washing two weeks worth of laundry did I discover that mixed together they realistically mimic the smell of fresh puke. FML

#20189162
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19565) - you deserved it (3545)

On 12/03/2012 at 6:40am - misc - by backtothelaundrettethen (woman) - Germany



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