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December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a woman at work was complaining about her weight. She looked pretty thin, so to make her feel better, I said that she looked small. She said "Well, you haven't seen me naked." For some reason, I replied, "Not that you know of." FML

#20417936
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15274) - you deserved it (35235)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:37am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was at my job as a cashier when a man called me his "Grocery Slave." I was almost offended, but then I thought about my salary. I am a Grocery Slave. FML

Today, a girl mistook me for her boyfriend and broke up with me because I'm "a liar and a cheating bastard." I've never seen her in my life, but I'm so lonely that I tried to convince her to give me another chance and stay with me. FML

#20427124
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41629) - you deserved it (8431)

On 12/28/2012 at 12:24am - love - by Alone - United States

Today, I took my child to the park. Having been there an hour, another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children, pointing to my child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML

#20415890
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17558) - you deserved it (48743)

On 12/23/2012 at 10:02am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, my daughter called me to pick her up at the mall. She said I had to meet her inside a specific store, so I figured she wanted me to pay for something. Turns out I was right, she was being arrested for shoplifting. FML

#20193017
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25940) - you deserved it (2544)

On 12/05/2012 at 9:32pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it's my birthday and my ex husband texted me at midnight to tell happy birthday. Too bad he couldn't have texted my new husband to remind him. FML

#20196242
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29552) - you deserved it (5098)

On 12/08/2012 at 11:12am - love - by aerythia - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my ex adopted a dog from the dog pound. It was the same dog he made me get rid of while we were still together. FML

#20401539
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27430) - you deserved it (7522)

On 12/16/2012 at 12:49am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had a look through my dad's girlfriend's phone she left on the table. Best part: I now know what I'm getting for christmas. Worst part: I now know my dad's favourite position. FML

#20413212
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14349) - you deserved it (70142)

On 12/22/2012 at 6:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I found out that the tinsel on my Christmas tree is worth a couple of hundred euros per strand. Well, that's how much the two that were surgically removed from my cat have cost me. At least the cat's going to be fine. FML

#20410843
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19587) - you deserved it (12824)

On 12/21/2012 at 5:02am - animals - by I Like My Cat (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I was at church, when my mom's phone went off during the sermon. As if that wasn't humiliating enough for me, her ring tone was set to the Bed Intruder song. FML

#20430388
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28278) - you deserved it (3806)

On 12/29/2012 at 5:33pm - misc - by killme (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was snooping around in my parents' closet to see what I would get for Christmas, when I came across a UPS package. It was the video game I ordered off eBay 3 weeks ago, addressed to me. They told me it had never arrived and said I should ask Santa to bring it to me. FML

#20195835
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30670) - you deserved it (4677)

On 12/08/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, while trying to take my Christmas tree down, I learned that at some point during the last few weeks, it became home to a colony of green ants. I'm now covered in bites and terrified to go anywhere near it. FML

#20426337
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25469) - you deserved it (2702)

On 12/27/2012 at 5:54pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I was out on a dinner date when suddenly a girl walks up to us and says to my date, "Girl, you can do so much better." Hearing this, my date looks at me, nods, gets up and walks off. I still had to pay for everything. FML

#20406289
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46638) - you deserved it (3683)

On 12/18/2012 at 8:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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