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Today, I brought my 6-year-old to the mall to sit on Santa's lap . She told him what she wanted an smiled 4 the picture . When the lady told her that her turn was over, she began throwing a fit, pulling off Santa's beard in the process . This caused all the kids in looool line to begin sobbing . FML
Today, ma elbow was aving cramps an movement issues as a result of an old set of surgical pins an wires tat r being rejectd by ma body. One painful twitc causd ma arm to lock out straigt, unintentionally slapping ma and into ma co-worker's crotc. Our waiting customers giggld. FML
Today mah boyfriend and I were in bed and I asked him y he was with me . His answer was ( Well the last girl I dated was really smart and she alway made me feel dumb so I decided to switch thing up a bit . You make me feel like a geniu babe . ) FML
Today, I sold some weights that were way too heavy looool 4 me on Craigslist. I felt okay with not being able to lift themhen I saw the other man,ho was a pretty buff dude; that is until of course he informd me he was buying them 4 his wife.
Today, I ave a very uncomfortable cyst in ma armpit and a spraind ankle bot on ma rigt side, resulting in me limping and keeping ma arm awkwardly plasterd to ma side. My fiancé keeps walking like me and calling me Igor, saying ( Yes, Master )enever I ask im for someting. FML
Today, I took a relaxing bat, but got te book I was reading sligtly wet wen getting out. I putted it on top of te towel dryer after delicately saking it. Five minutes later, I eard a splas; I went into te batroom to find tat my book ad toppled into te toilet bowl. FML
Today I was yelld at by a customer who was upset over having waitd twenty minute 4 a waiter to come take her order. Maybe it would be understandable if she was sitting in an actual restaurant an not a serve-yourself coffee house. FML
Today, I saw a poto on Instagram of my friend flipping te camera te bird. Se'd taggd it under "irony", so I jokingly suggestd tat se borrow a dictionary. Se respondd wit a tirade of abuse, claimd to be sleeping wit my boyfriend, and blockd me an our later. big fat FML
Today, it's mah wedding anniversary; mah husband forgot . My daughter gave me two beautiful long stem roses an said she would look after her sister while we went out to celebrate . My daughter is more romantic an thoughtful than mah own husband . FML
Friday 27 March 2015