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December 2012

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Today, I went to a urinal next to an elderly gentleman. As I was doing my business, he zips up and begins to leave. On his way out, he leans over my shoulder and whispers in my ear, "That's nice". FML

#20424687
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34477) - you deserved it (2752)

On 12/26/2012 at 11:03pm - misc - by hborkowski (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, on the way out to buy groceries, my boyfriend asked if I'd like him to buy some of my favourite flowers. Happy with his rare show of affection, I said yes. When he returned, he gave me a bag of our usual brand of flour and laughed hysterically in my face. FML

#20401145
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24571) - you deserved it (3799)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my girlfriend accused me of cheating, because I tipped our waitress at dinner. FML

#20186136
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25839) - you deserved it (2270)

On 12/01/2012 at 12:59am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having Christmas dinner while his mom was away. I was lying alone on his bed while he did the dishes, when the bedroom door dramatically swung open and his mom glared at me from the doorway. I had to leave when she screamed "FORNICATION IS A SIN!" FML

#20420364
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32605) - you deserved it (3669)

On 12/25/2012 at 1:41am - love - by un_christmas - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, my friend was complaining to me about her problems. I tried to be a good, understanding friend, listening and giving advice. When it was my turn to vent, she interrupted me, saying, "Sorry, but I don't really care." FML

#20201674
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27778) - you deserved it (2197)

On 12/12/2012 at 7:44am - misc - by sushichick (woman) - United States

Today, the highly intoxicated singer of my band decided it would be a wonderful idea to squat down and take a shit on stage in the middle of a gig. FML

#20408486
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36899) - you deserved it (4261)

On 12/20/2012 at 3:16am - misc - by dudeyouarefired -

Today, I told my husband to tell me his wildest fantasy. He told me it was to put on fake antlers and "do it like deer". FML

#20415339
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35176) - you deserved it (7596)

On 12/23/2012 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Kasey Eames - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé called off our engagement after I contested his belief that women stop having periods after they are married. FML

#20404199
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32673) - you deserved it (3731)

On 12/17/2012 at 7:29pm - love - by kidyounot (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, a girl mistook me for her boyfriend and broke up with me because I'm "a liar and a cheating bastard." I've never seen her in my life, but I'm so lonely that I tried to convince her to give me another chance and stay with me. FML

#20427124
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38508) - you deserved it (7950)

On 12/28/2012 at 12:24am - love - by Alone - United States

Today, I had plans for a romantic night with my boyfriend, who is perfect in every way possible. We were going to have sex for the first time as well. Unfortunately, I had a dream last night about him shitting all over me and I can't look at him with a straight face. FML

#20403258
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35073) - you deserved it (13785)

On 12/17/2012 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my dad forced the whole family to sit through a two-hour lecture, with supporting research, on how the "Mayan prophecy" is actually a load of shit fabricated by conmen. Nice to know he thinks we're all borderline brain-dead, gullible fuckwits who believed it to begin with. Thanks, dad. FML

#20400784
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19200) - you deserved it (4139)

On 12/15/2012 at 1:43pm - misc - by oh gee, you don't say (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I ran into my infant daughter's room because I thought I heard her crying, and found she was still sound asleep in her crib. The screams were coming from the mouse our cat was using to paint her bedroom walls. FML

#20400604
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26388) - you deserved it (2010)

On 12/15/2012 at 10:55am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I once again walked in on my husband eating our cat's food. FML

#20409541
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33005) - you deserved it (3919)

On 12/20/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by jsmills92 (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)



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