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December 2012

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Today, a guy professed his love for me in front of my friends. The guy is my first cousin. FML

#20414731
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37876) - you deserved it (3070)

On 12/22/2012 at 9:33pm - love - by Brittany (woman) - United States

Today, a senile old lady came up to me and offered me chocolate. I noticed that it was ex-lax, so I politely told her no. My 4-year-old daughter pushed me aside and ate the ex-lax, because she thought it was candy. I now have a stinky child on a 3 hour bus ride, with no stops. FML

#20197580
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19776) - you deserved it (9656)

On 12/09/2012 at 11:29am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, while lighting a cigarette, I learned the hard way that the amount of styling mousse I used to get my curly hair to become manageable, is the roughly same amount that causes it to become highly flammable. FML

#20186892
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9551) - you deserved it (27114)

On 12/01/2012 at 5:11pm - health - by Awkward (woman) - Bahrain

Today, in my AP Biology class, a student informed us she'd read that Antarctica had completely melted due to global warming, to which my friend gushed, "Yeah! It's been melted for, like, months." FML

#20193921
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20271) - you deserved it (1753)

On 12/06/2012 at 3:47pm - misc - by bieberslayer (woman) - United States

Today, while talking to my boyfriend, he got upset and accused me of making up words to make him feel stupid. All because I used the word "vapid." FML

#20414233
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25514) - you deserved it (7057)

On 12/22/2012 at 5:19pm - misc - by seriously? (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, on the bus, when I was asking my 6-year-old son what he wanted for Christmas, a stranger came up to us and yelled at him about how Santa Claus is not real, that his "parents are fucking liars" and that he should "never listen to anything one of those fuckers says." FML

#20200046
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29366) - you deserved it (2831)

On 12/11/2012 at 2:15am - kids - by n1a1t1h1a1n1 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML

#20189170
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27191) - you deserved it (3680)

On 12/03/2012 at 6:53am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, after ranting to my boyfriend about how Pandora bracelets are pointless and cliched and that I'd never spend that kind of money on a tiny charm, he gave me my Christmas present. It was a Pandora bracelet. FML

Today, I went to bed with a bra on. I woke up with no bra on. My brother had a friend sleep over last night. I wonder where my bra went. FML

#20434205
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35907) - you deserved it (3716)

On 12/31/2012 at 3:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while going on a jog through the countryside, I discovered that it is actually possible outside of crappy TV shows to have a rifle leveled at you, and to be shouted at to, "Get off my land." FML

#20432522
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20005) - you deserved it (16076)

On 12/30/2012 at 6:48pm - misc - by fuckinghicks (man) - United States

Today, I was slapped across the face by a girl in the waiting room at the dentist's office. She thought I was taking a picture of her breasts with my phone. I was smiling while reading other people's FMLs. FML

#20189568
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38576) - you deserved it (3144)

On 12/03/2012 at 3:35pm - misc - by karmamaybe - United States (South Dakota)

Today, my parents heard from my sister that I'd recently lost my virginity to my girlfriend. I've never been bitched out so viciously in my life, and yet my sister, whom everyone knows has had numerous casual sexual partners this year, is treated like a princess 24/7. FML

#20188038
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25287) - you deserved it (2061)

On 12/02/2012 at 1:55pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)

Today, I tried to impress a girl at the gym on the squat rack, but let out a big fart. She was grossed out and laughed at me with her friends. Her boyfriend came over and told me I was a dead man, and I'd better leave. I'm now the proud owner of a year membership at a gym I can't go to. FML

#20425068
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18865) - you deserved it (24752)

On 12/27/2012 at 1:46am - health - by pipefitter28 (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



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