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December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I followed my neighbor's advice and sprayed Sprite on my Christmas tree because it will "make it live longer." I just came downstairs to find my Christmas tree covered in ants. FML

#20186141
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7466) - you deserved it (40858)

On 12/01/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Chuffy - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was hit in the head by a golf ball. I wasn't near a golf course, and nobody was anywhere in sight. I'm still trying to figure out what happened. FML

#20403784
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39992) - you deserved it (3746)

On 12/17/2012 at 2:38pm - health - by wtf - United States

Today, my roommate turned the thermostat down to 50 degrees. Why? Because she read that shivering burns calories. FML

#20200383
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26065) - you deserved it (2056)

On 12/11/2012 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was burgled while I was on the toilet. FML

#20402014
135 comments

Today, I finally summoned the courage to ask my dad to pay me as he promised, after I cut the lawn and cleaned all the house windows last week. His response was, "Get fucked." FML

#20188543
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24357) - you deserved it (3041)

On 12/02/2012 at 8:57pm - misc - by :/ (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was visiting my daughter, whose husband was still asleep at noon. I made a point of stomping around on the hardwood floor and speaking loudly to wake his lazy ass up. Turns out he's now working a 14-hour graveyard shift, and it has no negative effect on his shoe-throwing skills. FML

#20193830
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6275) - you deserved it (81300)

On 12/06/2012 at 2:23pm - misc - by mom (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, the girl I dumped three years ago because she wouldn't take my band seriously is now a successful and rich environmental scientist. Meanwhile, I'm still unemployed, living with my parents, and can barely remember how to play a guitar. FML

#20407310
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12325) - you deserved it (79713)

On 12/19/2012 at 10:26am - love - by rightinthekarma (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my house was broken into. The cop that came turned out to be a guy I fought over a girl with in high school. He sneered and said that everything appeared to be in order, and that I probably ransacked my own house. FML

#20408586
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39459) - you deserved it (8862)

On 12/20/2012 at 6:19am - misc - by doblex (man) - United States

Today, I confronted my 18-year-old daughter about her excessively lengthy showers. She said she didn't see the big deal, considering the water "comes free with the house." No dear, it doesn't. FML

#20414355
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39041) - you deserved it (5937)

On 12/22/2012 at 6:29pm - kids - by Jane (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while at the store with my mom and baby brother, a guy started to talk to me. Just as he went to give me his number, my mom handed me my brother and said, "Here's your son, your AA meeting's in an hour, let's go." FML

#20423578
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55344) - you deserved it (5166)

On 12/26/2012 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, "The Phantom of the Opera" soundtrack blasted me awake at 4 am. Not knowing how it got on my iPod, I checked and found I had bought the whole $17.00 album in my sleep. This is the second time this month; the first time I downloaded the soundtrack from "The Wizard of Oz". FML

#20198547
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29156) - you deserved it (6423)

On 12/10/2012 at 12:10am - money - by hailey - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend told me his Christmas gift to me was custom made. I told my parents in excitement, thinking it could possibly be a ring. Half an hour later he told me what it was; a molded dildo of his penis. It's going to be an awkward conversation with my parents when they ask what I got. FML

#20408274
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42215) - you deserved it (14852)

On 12/20/2012 at 12:30am - intimacy - by djl (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML

#20423697
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54306) - you deserved it (3842)

On 12/26/2012 at 2:30pm - misc - by gaggin - United States (California)



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