Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, it's my 21st birthday and my dad has decided to take away my ID in fear that if I have even one drink to celebrate I'll become a raging alcoholic. FML

#20189765
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20715) - you deserved it (2214)

On 12/03/2012 at 6:01pm - misc - by VedaLynn - United States

Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML

#20189453
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30655) - you deserved it (3786)

On 12/03/2012 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I thought I felt something itch my butt as I sat down on the toilet. Sure it was just my imagination, I did my business. When I was done I saw there were 4 cockroaches crawling under the seat. FML

#20194684
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26674) - you deserved it (4165)

On 12/07/2012 at 12:46am - misc - by lingadoo - Kuwait (Al Kuwayt)

Today, at school, I have to do a 45 minute presentation with a girl who has panic attacks so bad that she cries, runs out of the room, and sometimes passes out. This presentation terrifies her and it's a major part of my final grade. FML

#20192286
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22140) - you deserved it (2013)

On 12/05/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by Murlocmurk - United States

Today, at the hospital I work at, I had to deliver my best friend's baby. I later found out that my ex boyfriend was the father. Normally this wouldn't faze me, but it did because we broke up last month. FML

#20429423
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42643) - you deserved it (2707)

On 12/29/2012 at 3:25am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boss was telling everyone that he knew a guy who went to a college at which multiple people were shot and killed recently. Being extremely socially awkward and uncomfortable, I blurted, "That's awesome." Now everyone in the office is terrified of me. FML

#20191114
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10874) - you deserved it (20926)

On 12/04/2012 at 4:34pm - work - by Adan - United States (Washington)

Today, I walked out of my apartment to see that someone had climbed onto the hood of my car and taken a shit on my windshield. I only moved in a couple of weeks ago. FML

#20189050
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20833) - you deserved it (1448)

On 12/03/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by poopsthegame - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I jokingly tried to convince my girlfriend that Wyoming was a government conspiracy and did not exist. She believed me. FML

#20193447
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18419) - you deserved it (5183)

On 12/06/2012 at 3:24am - misc - by whaleninjapoop - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after my girlfriend has recently become obsessed with the serial-killer show, Dexter, she has grown an interest in cutting up pomegranates in many different ways and squirting the red, blood-like juice everywhere. I am now afraid to argue with her. FML

#20400460
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26002) - you deserved it (2902)

On 12/15/2012 at 7:33am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I auditioned for a role in ballet. My stomach was in pain and as I ran to be lifted into the air by my partner, I let out a huge fart. The auditorium was dead silent. FML

#20429501
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36957) - you deserved it (4072)

On 12/29/2012 at 4:32am - misc - by gassy - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend and I went to the cinema. Or rather, she went with her other boyfriend, and I happened to see them there. FML

#20429745
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43454) - you deserved it (2768)

On 12/29/2012 at 10:50am - love - by awkward. (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my roommate pressed "snooze" on his alarm 14 times. I counted. FML

#20200321
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21010) - you deserved it (2177)

On 12/11/2012 at 10:57am - misc - by roommateprobssss:( - United States

Today, at my new job, some juvenile cockbite spiked my food with a laxative, as part of some kind of bizarre hazing ritual. The bastard got ratted out and suspended, but my arsehole now feels like it's been blown apart by a nuclear warhead. I thought this shit only happened in movies. FML

#20409224
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29322) - you deserved it (6143)

On 12/20/2012 at 4:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: