Today, I ate brunch at my in-laws. The food all tasted off to me so I didn't eat much, telling my mother-in-law I was watching my weight. Later on, while out doing a bit of shopping, I stopped at a red light. Guess who pulled up next to me while I was scarfing a fast food burger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15817) - you deserved it (17822)
On 12/18/2012 at 5:02pm - misc - by drkate25 - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my boyfriend was dropping me off home and we were still in the car. When I went in to give him a hug, my hand hit his shoulder and I dropped my phone at his feet. Just as I pulled back up with it, my dad was staring at us from outside. He still appears to think I was giving him head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24449) - you deserved it (2035)
On 12/11/2012 at 2:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was wrapping presents for my daughter, trying to be really quiet. Behind me, the cat decided to climb the tree, which then fell on top of me and I couldn't move. My daughter had to help me up. She now knows everything she's getting for Christmas this year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22318) - you deserved it (2822)
On 12/23/2012 at 8:03pm - animals - by Christmas sucks - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I accidentally knocked over a mall Santa on his way to meet some children. I've never had that many hate-filled eyes on me at once. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20128) - you deserved it (4130)
On 12/18/2012 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my co-worker had a bad cold that stuffed up his ears and nose. This wouldn't have been a problem, except that he believed his farts were silent and scentless. They were so vile, they could have killed a horse. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27003) - you deserved it (2048)
On 12/22/2012 at 3:06am - work - by Iknoweverything (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, whilst at my new step-dad's Christmas lunch, my mother spiked my drink so that I would look worse than her in front of her new mother-in-law. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24799) - you deserved it (1612)
On 12/24/2012 at 5:09am - misc - by heya - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I caught my dog chewing on a tampon applicator. I tried to grab it from him, but he wanted to play "keep away" and ran outside. Like a dumbass, I chased after him in my underwear, earning myself the attention of my neighbors on each side of my driveway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8315) - you deserved it (20022)
On 12/20/2012 at 1:17pm - misc - by ScoozieBooze (woman) - United States (New Mexico)
Today, at a post-Christmas party, I saw a cute girl standing underneath a mistletoe. I walked up to her and pointed out that we were both standing under a mistletoe. She looked at me, winced, and quickly walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13289) - you deserved it (13924)
On 12/26/2012 at 9:09pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)
Today, while visiting my widowed great aunt, she took out her wedding rings and talked about the love she and my uncle had. Smiling, I told her that one day I hope to have as happy a marriage as theirs. Her response? "Knowing you, I wouldn't count on it." My mother sat there agreeing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14040) - you deserved it (1365)
On 12/03/2012 at 2:17am - misc - by Stupendous_ - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I found out that storing a partially empty bowl of ice cream in the freezer overnight along with the spoon, and then trying to take a bite the next day, can have the same effect as sticking your tongue on a flagpole in the middle of winter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4118) - you deserved it (17005)
On 12/07/2012 at 12:06pm - misc - by Moose (man) - United States (West Virginia)
Today, my ex-boyfriend of over 4 years decided to turn up outside my house at 1am, drunk off his ass, to confess his love for me. When I told him I'd moved on and am happily engaged, he cried on the grass for an hour, then tried to steal my cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32899) - you deserved it (2854)
On 12/26/2012 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)
Today, to scare my little brother I dressed up as the killer from the Scream movies. The outfit was a little too long on me, and I ended up falling down the stairs. Not only was he doubled over laughing, but so were the people in the emergency room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6124) - you deserved it (19359)
On 12/01/2012 at 3:21pm - health - by fieldmarshalclitter (man) - United States
Today, my mother told my therapist that I've been reverting to childlike behavior and she was worried about my maturity. She was worried because I screamed hysterically after dropping a pot of boiling noodles on my lap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18695) - you deserved it (1027)
On 12/13/2012 at 3:31am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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