Today, my deranged wife somehow became convinced that vampires actually exist. She's now walking around with garlic powder caked into her clothing. I can't get the smell out of my nostrils. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13505) - you deserved it (1271)
On 11/04/2012 at 1:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Oslo)
Today, I woke up with a vague memory of buying something last night while drunk. According to my credit card summary I made a $270 purchase from a home shopping channel. I guess in 5-7 days I'll find out what it was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6943) - you deserved it (17323)
On 11/04/2012 at 11:37am - money - by fnfantastic - United States (Indiana)
Today, my manager made me stay at work for an extra four hours, making me miss an urgent specialist appointment I'd scheduled months ago. Why? Because her neighbor's dog was having puppies, and she wanted to go home early and see them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16523) - you deserved it (1616)
On 11/02/2012 at 1:53am - work - by whytetrash - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9104) - you deserved it (25373)
On 11/20/2012 at 3:43am - intimacy - by kinkicali (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I asked my manager if wearing makeup was a requirement for the job. She told me, "Not if you're naturally pretty... So for you, yes". FML
I agree, your life sucks (19597) - you deserved it (2171)
On 11/17/2012 at 4:15am - work - by satega - United States (Missouri)
Today, my boss called me Dave. Now everyone actually thinks my name is Dave. It's Nathan. I've been working there for 2 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17667) - you deserved it (1338)
On 11/27/2012 at 8:16am - work - by nato (man) - United States
Today, I went to a restaurant with my boyfriend. After dessert, he went to the bathroom so I quickly called the waiter over and paid the bill, thinking it was a nice gesture. When he returned, he broke up with me for "emasculating" him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17606) - you deserved it (2771)
On 11/27/2012 at 6:36am - love - by Clementine (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I ran into my boss outside of work. She smiled, and started trying to have an in-depth chat with me. I wouldn't have minded, if it weren't for the fact I ran into her at a club, whilst they were having an S and M theme night. And we were both fully dressed up for it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14734) - you deserved it (3265)
On 11/21/2012 at 3:43pm - work - by jobsearching (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)
Today, I had to take my little brother to the pool. He acted like a brat the whole time, and when I told him we were leaving, he ran away, slipped, and hit his face on the tile floor. He told my dad and step-mom I punched him. They believed him, and I'm grounded for two months. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20138) - you deserved it (998)
On 11/17/2012 at 7:41pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my hair straightener broke. My husband suggested putting electrical tape on it because it was heat proof. I did and started straightening my hair. The supposed heat proof tape melted and got stuck in my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6329) - you deserved it (19520)
On 11/03/2012 at 9:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was playing with my cat. I tried to put him on my stomach, but he refused to stay put. Ever since I lost weight, he won't lay with me or purr. I think my fat was the only thing he liked about me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15915) - you deserved it (1636)
On 11/06/2012 at 3:27pm - animals - by creedonfied - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, as I was about to walk across the street, a girl in front of me who clearly wasn't paying attention to the traffic, almost got run over. I grabbed her arm and jumped back. She was fine. I fell and fractured my arm and wrist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17394) - you deserved it (1287)
On 11/28/2012 at 12:43pm - health - by williebees - United States (Texas)
Today, my dad put an onion in my room, telling me spirits won't haunt me and that I won't get sick. He thinks a vegetable will protect me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12216) - you deserved it (1481)
On 11/14/2012 at 7:48pm - health - by duhasiangirl - Canada (Ontario)
Monday 17 June 2013
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