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November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML

#20147554
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27108) - you deserved it (3157)

On 11/04/2012 at 4:16pm - misc - by i fking love docb - Virgin Islands, U.S.

Today, I started dating a seemingly normal guy. Not even four hours into our relationship, he began telling me that he can see spirits, dead people, and that I have a large black dog following me everywhere I go. FML

#20155774
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25028) - you deserved it (2833)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:53pm - love - by holyshitbatman - United States (Ohio)

Today, my hubby and I decided to spice up our sex life and went to an adult toy store. We know too many people in our town, so we drove to one that was 30 mins away. We decided on our items, and went to the check out. Who would have guessed my next door neighbor works there as a cashier? FML

#20146867
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34883) - you deserved it (5211)

On 11/04/2012 at 4:55am - intimacy - by screwed - United States

Today, my girlfriend did the walk of shame in a skimpy Halloween costume after a night of drunken sex. Problem? The walk ended at my doorstep, and the sex was with a stranger. FML

#20145433
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41445) - you deserved it (3267)

On 11/03/2012 at 6:02am - intimacy - by heartbroke (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while at a red light, a guy in a tux and sunglasses doing the Gangnam Style passed over the crossing, followed by a man with a video camera. This isn't the first time I've stopped for people doing a Gangnam Style parody. FML

#20165330
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25946) - you deserved it (3828)

On 11/16/2012 at 10:52am - misc - by Gangnam (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I delivered a pizza to a guy so high out of his mind that I had to let myself in and set it down on a table, because he'd forgotten how to walk, and was on the ground sobbing. FML

#20157750
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29256) - you deserved it (2108)

On 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by anon - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized the number of cats I currently have is higher than the number of guys I've ever dated. FML

#20169381
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21875) - you deserved it (17825)

On 11/19/2012 at 11:15am - animals - by crazycatlady (woman) - United States

Today, I bought an $80, "invincible" phone case. One test drop later, my phone had turned into an expensive paperweight. FML

#20161826
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10050) - you deserved it (33271)

On 11/13/2012 at 1:24pm - money - by bummed and broke - United States

Today, my dad offered to pay me $40 to wash his car. Needing money to buy a video game, I agreed, and went out in the freezing weather to do the job. I finished the task, only to be paid in Monopoly money. My dad still hasn't gotten over how "funny" his prank was. FML

#20158140
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28283) - you deserved it (3696)

On 11/10/2012 at 10:10pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I had awful morning sickness, and I asked my husband if he'd get me a drink while I went to the bathroom. On the way back, I witnessed him spitting in the glass. FML

#20165918
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34565) - you deserved it (2760)

On 11/16/2012 at 9:00pm - love - by akiza (woman) - Japan

Today, I was shopping when I overheard a woman telling an employee that she was buying an iPad for her 5-year-old son. Annoyed, I turned around and ranted about how he should have more age appropriate toys. Then she explained that her son is autistic and will be using the iPad to communicate. FML

#20183504
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9313) - you deserved it (89682)

On 11/29/2012 at 12:29am - misc - by Mimi - United States

Today, dressed in my sexiest nightie, I asked my boyfriend in the most sensual voice possible what he'd like me do to for him tonight. His eyed widened, he started clapping wildly and then shrieked, "SPAGHETTI CARBONARA!" FML

#20142866
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27138) - you deserved it (4682) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/01/2012 at 7:48am - love - by Anonymous - France (Picardie)

Today, I sat on my balls while at a restaurant. As I was wincing in pain and readjusting myself, my girlfriend came and sat on my lap. She landed directly on my nuts. After a minute or two, I stood up, only to rack myself once again on the corner of the table. FML



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