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November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to stand next to my wife at the supermarket, beet-red and pretending not to exist; about half an hour into our shopping, she completely lost her shit at the advertising on the loudspeaker, turned to another patron, and screamed into his face to shut the fuck up. FML

#20164356
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19142) - you deserved it (2251)

On 11/15/2012 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland

Today, my ex-girlfriend was supposed to pick up her things. I decided to take a nap. Thirty minutes later, I woke up with two police officers hammering on my door. They'd come to get my ex-girlfriend's things and said they were "watching me." That's the last time I date a cop's daughter. FML

#20170390
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23853) - you deserved it (3108)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:03am - love - by Chris (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend decided to break the news that she wanted us to be "just friends." However, she did it not in just any old way - while ice-skating. I'm currently in hospital getting stitches in my arm after I tripped in shock and she ran me over. FML

#20173269
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24695) - you deserved it (1571)

On 11/22/2012 at 12:35am - love - by Ice cold (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I threw up after drinking a smoothie my mother made me. She then called me "ungrateful" and "immature" for not liking what she spent a long time making for me. I later found out that not only did she use expired yogurt, it was also a mango smoothie, which I'm allergic to. FML

#20153910
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25525) - you deserved it (1545)

On 11/07/2012 at 6:28pm - health - by anon - United States

Today, at archery practice, I jokingly said that I'd kiss the next person to get a bullseye. They all made a point of missing their targets, some even shooting their arrows way off to the side. FML

#20146224
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23424) - you deserved it (7375)

On 11/03/2012 at 8:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother-in-law moved in because she has a hip problem. I don't know what's worse, her constant complaining and slob like tendencies, or the eight cats she brought along with her. FML

#20154544
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23198) - you deserved it (1931)

On 11/08/2012 at 12:43am - misc - by David (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I gave a big presentation at work, hoping to impress my boss and angle for a promotion. I was already nervous, but a co-worker at the back kept making goofy faces, causing me to repeatedly break into laughter. My boss accused me of being high, and suspended me on the spot. FML

#20144868
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21933) - you deserved it (3734)

On 11/02/2012 at 8:23pm - work - by YOUFUCKINGFUCKSOCK (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, on an important call with a potential employer, he began to speak quieter and quieter until I couldn't hear him at all. When I finally hung up after waiting for 5 minutes, I realized that I had been pressing down on the volume button. FML

#20182071
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8730) - you deserved it (30351)

On 11/27/2012 at 11:58pm - work - by jkmartinjk - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was working in a call center when I smelled perfume. I'm allergic, and it triggered my asthma. When I came back, some jerk had sprayed it all over my work area. I couldn't go near it for the rest of my shift, therefore I had to go home early, and got my paycheck docked. FML

#20143862
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25024) - you deserved it (2048)

On 11/02/2012 at 12:13am - work - by John - United States

Today, I was singing in the shower, when some suds from my shampoo fell into my mouth and down my throat. I retched and sputtered for about two minutes before finally throwing up. FML

#20166301
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20381) - you deserved it (7347)

On 11/17/2012 at 3:45am - health - by woman - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, after dealing with infidelity in my marriage, I found myself looking for advice. This led me to the comments section of a tabloid article talking about Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson. I'm a 30-year-old man taking marriage advice from a bunch of vampire-obsessed tweens. FML

#20156173
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19282) - you deserved it (5580)

On 11/09/2012 at 11:07am - love - by loser (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my husband surprised me by cooking a romantic dinner. I asked him why the sudden gesture. His response? "The cable was out." FML

#20154549
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20220) - you deserved it (4271)

On 11/08/2012 at 12:49am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a customer smiled, looked me in the eye and described to me in graphic detail the swelling that occurred to his nuts after his vasectomy. FML

#20142730
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20735) - you deserved it (1717)

On 11/01/2012 at 9:52am - work - by tmi. - Australia



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