Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was playing with my four year old cousin. He had a toy whale and said, "Shark!" I corrected him and told him it was a whale. He picked it up, threw it at my face, and yelled, "SHAAARK!" FML

#20176364
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15257) - you deserved it (6203)

On 11/24/2012 at 8:59am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my cat went into labor. This is surprising since 6 years ago, we paid to have her spayed. FML

#20174337
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21806) - you deserved it (1563)

On 11/22/2012 at 8:34pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML

#20160393
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23531) - you deserved it (7192)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm - misc - by mm (woman) - United Kingdom (Warrington)

Today, we found out that the beloved "Uncle Jimmy" from my early childhood was really the man my mother was cheating on my dad with. FML

#20156411
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18093) - you deserved it (856)

On 11/09/2012 at 3:53pm - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Gisborne)

Today, I found out my girlfriend of 3 years has been cheating on me. When I explained the situation to the "other guy", he exclaimed that I was lying because I was jealous and trying to ruin his relationship. He punched me in the face. FML

#20177730
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24734) - you deserved it (2373)

On 11/25/2012 at 3:09am - love - by king400 - United States (California)

Today, after working out and feeling really confident, I entered a mixed wrestling competition. My first match was against a woman who was over a foot taller than me. She managed to easily lift me over her head and toss me out of the ring within seconds. Confidence: gone. FML

#20160946
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11253) - you deserved it (4883)

On 11/12/2012 at 8:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my parents kindly told me what they are getting me for my 18th birthday. An eviction notice. FML

#20170511
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18418) - you deserved it (2754)

On 11/20/2012 at 1:47am - kids - by lea5459 - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be cute to leave a love letter in my car while I was at work. She left my lights on. I got a dead battery. FML

#20179747
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19849) - you deserved it (2018)

On 11/26/2012 at 1:59pm - love - by Blake Lawrence - United States (Utah)

Today, I bought a new armband to hold my iPhone while working out so I can listen to music and I was excited to start getting in shape. Unfortunately, when I tried it on, my arm was too big and it didn't fit. FML

#20168720
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16491) - you deserved it (5831)

On 11/18/2012 at 10:13pm - health - by joe - United States (Maryland)

Today, after being single for a while now, I unwillingly went on a blind date with a guy my friend convinced me would be perfect for me. He took me to McDonald's; his father was with him the whole entire time. He is 27. FML

#20180462
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21824) - you deserved it (1775)

On 11/26/2012 at 10:13pm - love - by N - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, a few of my friends and I went laser tagging. I had been smart enough to wear black since I know white glows in the dark. Unfortunately, the dandruff glowing in my hair gave me away. FML

#20180680
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18048) - you deserved it (7663)

On 11/27/2012 at 12:06am - misc - by tarlyo2012 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was separating my notes into two piles: one to save for exam studying and one to throw out. I finished separating, picked up the junk pile and absentmindedly shredded it. Afterwards, I looked down to see the junk pile still completely intact. Goodbye, passing grades. FML

#20180442
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8849) - you deserved it (23931)

On 11/26/2012 at 10:03pm - work - by shark - United States (Texas)

Today, I'm in the hospital and it's been 44 hours since I've eaten anything. My doctors won't let me eat and my parents are sitting across the room, eating. FML

#20171321
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20424) - you deserved it (1321)

On 11/20/2012 at 6:25pm - health - by RayneSong - United States (Michigan)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: