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November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I learned that last week, the UPS man gave my package to my neighbor for safekeeping. It was over five-hundred dollars' worth of merchandise. My neighbor left for Canada on Saturday. FML

#20160454
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21480) - you deserved it (1539)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:40pm - money - by siciliano12594 - United States (New York)

Today, my grandmother and I turned up to a family function wearing the same outfit. FML

#20184947
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22811) - you deserved it (5302)

On 11/30/2012 at 1:30am - misc - by Awks - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my friends and I were playing truth or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so they dared me to run naked into my neighbor's yard while yelling, "Help! The pixies took my penis!" I ran screaming right into their big family reunion. FML

#20172584
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7284) - you deserved it (32178)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after the fourth time telling my roommate I'm highly allergic to her scented products, I came back to find all 6 of our wall outlets using Glade plug-ins. They were set to high. FML

Today, I was nicknamed "Sandman." Not after the bad-ass Spider Man villain but rather because my personality is so boring it puts people to sleep. FML

#20173388
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16477) - you deserved it (3675)

On 11/22/2012 at 2:25am - misc - by zzz - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I called off my engagement, after finding out my fiancé is cheating on me. I recently started a new job, and in anticipation of getting married, I asked that my username include his surname. They can't be changed, so now I get to log in every day under that sorry bastard's surname. FML

#20170919
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24404) - you deserved it (8146)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:22pm - love - by notAMrs (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend's mother came over for a few hours. After she left I went to grab a drink, only to find that three bottles of expensive liquor were missing from our liquor cabinet. FML

#20148667
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19751) - you deserved it (1537)

On 11/05/2012 at 9:02am - misc - by liquorless (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I work on a cruise ship, and I just learned that we have a morgue on board. How did I learn that? It's right next to the crew laundry room, and I opened the wrong door. It was occupied. FML

#20147788
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18725) - you deserved it (1518)

On 11/04/2012 at 7:02pm - work - by CircusSea (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, my boss told me to cut my long hair. After coming back to work with a clean cut hairstyle, he apparently thought I was the new guy, and said I was going to be trained by "The long-haired girly-looking idiot." FML

#20163115
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23032) - you deserved it (3261)

On 11/14/2012 at 1:10pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boss asked me if I had any special plans for Christmas. After I told him I was planning a trip to Canada, he snapped, "Well, you can forget it. I need you at the office." FML

#20173791
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21408) - you deserved it (1430)

On 11/22/2012 at 12:35pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at work, I took an order from a stuck-up sounding lady over the phone. She said her last name was "duckling, but with an F". Bemused, I wrote her name on the order. When she arrived to pick it up later, she told me she'd said "s", not "f". FML

#20177082
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17483) - you deserved it (2546)

On 11/24/2012 at 7:25pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, while working at the coffee shop, I had to empty the garbage cans. One of the bags gave way, and all the half-finished cups of coffee spilled all over my uniform. Most customers' orders cost more than I make per hour. FML

#20166731
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18082) - you deserved it (1883)

On 11/17/2012 at 1:35pm - work - by overpriced coffee shop worker - United States (California)

Today, I was told I look like a Simpson. I don't have blond hair, or any of the features of them. So I asked which one. I was told Homer because we both could use Weight Watchers and an education. FML

#20155893
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17366) - you deserved it (3671)

On 11/09/2012 at 1:57am - misc - by Kyle - United States (Georgia)



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