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November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a shopper approached me at Target and said, "So are you just gonna stand there to look pretty and do nothing around here?" I ignored his comment, until he got so upset that he wanted to speak to my manager. It would have been understandable if I actually worked there. FML

#20177780
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27542) - you deserved it (1979)

On 11/25/2012 at 4:07am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML

#20151986
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19907) - you deserved it (6410)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:11am - misc - by Squid (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I woke up with a vague memory of buying something last night while drunk. According to my credit card summary I made a $270 purchase from a home shopping channel. I guess in 5-7 days I'll find out what it was. FML

#20147165
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9118) - you deserved it (25781)

On 11/04/2012 at 11:37am - money - by fnfantastic - United States (Indiana)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I came back home in tears, and eventually told my dad what was wrong. He immediately excused himself to the living room, where I heard him tell my mum, "She's gone all Taylor Swift again." FML

#20159285
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22782) - you deserved it (10395)

On 11/11/2012 at 5:48pm - love - by notalovestory (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, my cat was too overweight to get out of the litter box, so he gave up, and went to sleep. I had to pick him up out of his own waste and clean him up. FML

#20175044
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12578) - you deserved it (25391)

On 11/23/2012 at 10:10am - animals - by Jeanna S. - United States

Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML

#20161582
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27805) - you deserved it (4016)

On 11/13/2012 at 6:34am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered "cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML

#20145795
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34893) - you deserved it (3655)

On 11/03/2012 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I ran across the street due to a line of cars waiting for me to cross. Just as I reached the other side, my iPhone slipped out of my hand and fell into the road, just in time to get run over by multiple cars, one after the other. FML

#20181219
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21546) - you deserved it (6782)

On 11/27/2012 at 1:45pm - misc - by unknown - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was playing with my cat. I tried to put him on my stomach, but he refused to stay put. Ever since I lost weight, he won't lay with me or purr. I think my fat was the only thing he liked about me. FML

#20150645
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22820) - you deserved it (2552)

On 11/06/2012 at 3:27pm - animals - by creedonfied - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, someone stole my iPhone. I used the Find My iPhone app, and located it in the apartment building next to mine. I can hear the ringing sound I've activated, but nobody will answer the door. FML

#20163099
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24569) - you deserved it (1797)

On 11/14/2012 at 12:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had to go to my daughter's school because she hasn't been going to class. Her teacher seemed surprised to see me with my husband when we arrived. Apparently I "died" recently and my daughter has had extra responsibility around the house, hence why she doesn't come to class. FML

#20154716
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30104) - you deserved it (2346)

On 11/08/2012 at 6:09am - kids - by Shauna (woman) - United States

Today, on my job as a police officer, I received a typical domestic disturbance call. Not so typical was the address. Guess my wife's affair went terribly wrong while I was on shift. FML

#20155904
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42425) - you deserved it (1942)

On 11/09/2012 at 2:18am - love - by SebastianMiko (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my deranged wife somehow became convinced that vampires actually exist. She's now walking around with garlic powder caked into her clothing. I can't get the smell out of my nostrils. FML

#20147303
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19502) - you deserved it (1996)

On 11/04/2012 at 1:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Oslo)



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