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November 2012

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Today, the love of my life, and long term partner, sat me down and told me that he feels so comfortable in our relationship that he no longer feels the need to have sex with me, and he doesn't think that that will ever change. FML

by nolove / 11/14/2012 at 5:36am / Australia / Intimacy

Today, after finishing a test, I decided to draw to pass the time. My teacher looked at the drawing and gave me a referral to the principal for drawing an "anti-Semitic picture." I'd drawn Superman. FML

by Superman / 11/15/2012 at 1:01am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work I was trying to be nice and give a customer a discount because she was having trouble finding money to pay for her food. Everybody behind her then demanded a discount as well. FML

by cassiebee / 11/04/2012 at 9:16am / United States (Utah) / Work

Today, I realized I'd put on my shirt on inside out, so I went to the bathroom stalls to fix it. As I was taking it off, I accidentally dropped it in the toilet. FML

by Anonymous / 11/19/2012 at 4:08pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my step-mom threw out some of the "boxes of junk" in my room, because apparently, I'm a pack rat. I guess she and everyone else in my family won't be receiving those Christmas presents. FML

by WritingWrongs / 11/25/2012 at 8:28am / United States / Money

Today, after a year of living with my boyfriend at our new place, he told me that he wants to sell our house and live in a trailer, so he can be closer to his mom. FML

by Anonimo / 11/08/2012 at 4:22pm / Italy (Sardegna) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went out and bought a copy of Black Ops 2. I got home and opened the case, only to see the game disk was missing. When I went back to the store to complain, the guy at the desk accused me of trying to pull an old scam on him. FML

by FUCK A FUCKING DUCK / 11/23/2012 at 12:20pm / Bahamas (New Providence) / Money

Today, while working at my local supermarket, I found a boy lost and wandering about, so I took him to the front desk. My reward from his mother was a slap around the face and harsh words for supposedly having kidnapped him. FML

by bitch i'm a gerontophile / 11/29/2012 at 1:08pm / Taiwan / Work

Today, my girlfriend decided to invite her best friend over for a threesome. This would've been the best day ever, had I not been at work while it was taking place. FML

by sadness1992 / 11/06/2012 at 1:07pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML

by Anonymous / 11/22/2012 at 1:50am / United States / Work

Today, I looked up the side effects of the antidepressants I've recently started taking. Inability to orgasm is one of them. I can either not be depressed, or I can have an orgasm. FML

by HappinessOrOrgasms / 11/05/2012 at 2:25pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I decided to be responsible and call a cab to take my drunk ass home from the bar. As I climbed into the cab, I was quickly pulled back out and had the shit beaten out of me by a group of drunk guys who thought they needed the ride more. The police soon arrived and arrested us all. FML

by ronboy / 11/26/2012 at 6:11pm / United States (Ohio) / Transportation

Today, my long distance boyfriend broke up with me. Tomorrow he should be expecting the super long love letter that I poured my heart into and sent him a week ago. FML

by whatever / 11/24/2012 at 2:02am / Canada (Alberta) / Love