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November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I caught my mother trying to switch my contraceptive pill for Tic Tacs. I don't know what's worse - how far she will go to have a grandchild, or that she thought I wouldn't notice that my birth control left me with minty fresh breath. FML

#20178576
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22404) - you deserved it (1493)

On 11/25/2012 at 6:36pm - misc - by Username (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, my best friend told me that I wasn't invited to her wedding, saying that I was too pretty and that I would outshine her at the ceremony. I laughed and said that she was being ridiculous. She eventually confessed the real reason why I wasn't invited: apparently I'm an annoying bitch. FML

#20152648
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13464) - you deserved it (21698)

On 11/07/2012 at 2:31am - misc - by no cake for me (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend decided to invite her best friend over for a threesome. This would've been the best day ever, had I not been at work while it was taking place. FML

#20150477
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36707) - you deserved it (3621)

On 11/06/2012 at 1:07pm - intimacy - by sadness1992 - United States (California)

Today, at work I was trying to be nice and give a customer a discount because she was having trouble finding money to pay for her food. Everybody behind her then demanded a discount as well. FML

#20147029
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12200) - you deserved it (24507)

On 11/04/2012 at 9:16am - work - by cassiebee - United States (Utah)

Today, while working as a massage therapist, a client had me work on a very specific knot in his shoulder. He also happened to have a very detailed, very realistic tattoo of the crucifixion on his shoulder. I just spent 45 minutes violating Jesus. FML

#20173351
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19951) - you deserved it (3583)

On 11/22/2012 at 1:50am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was eating a fancy dinner with my girlfriend at a restaurant. Suddenly, my ex-girlfriend, who was seemingly still angry after our breakup 2 years ago, saw me through the window. She walked in, took my spaghetti dinner, shoved it in my face, and stormed out. FML

#20148447
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25154) - you deserved it (2989)

On 11/05/2012 at 2:02am - love - by sad (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom has officially lost 100 pounds due to a lap-band surgery. After sharing her excitement, she also shared her troubles. She said, "Everything hangs now, even my cooter. Can they fix that?" Thank you for the mental image, mom. FML

#20159898
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18433) - you deserved it (1502)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:25am - health - by KtSue - United States

Today, I texted my boyfriend saying that I couldn't wait for him to get home and see my costume, and that I had dressed up as a naked lady. He texted back asking if I could dress up as someone who was making dinner instead. FML

#20142541
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30596) - you deserved it (6487)

On 11/01/2012 at 3:54am - intimacy - by okay._. - United States (California)

Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML

#20164794
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23858) - you deserved it (2772)

On 11/15/2012 at 9:40pm - misc - by needanewride - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got into a car accident. The guy wouldn't give me his information, but instead stood there saying, "Like a good neighbor, Statefarm is there." FML

#20176033
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25239) - you deserved it (1772)

On 11/24/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by Read The Fine Print - United States (California)

Today, I had to buy a new vacuum cleaner. My previous one stopped working, because apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to suck up our puppy's shit from the floor. FML

#20155036
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21224) - you deserved it (2065)

On 11/08/2012 at 2:03pm - love - by 99Problemsandfml - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a furniture store. We split up for a bit, and after a while I went to find him. A salesman noticed I seemed to be looking around for him and said, "Oh, your son is upstairs." We're the same age. FML

#20155909
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22206) - you deserved it (1904)

On 11/09/2012 at 2:26am - misc - by slypher25aussie (man) - United States (California)

Today, my newly ex-fiancé, the father of my 5-year-old child, moved out of state with no warning. I just spent my last $500 paying off his car, and the rent is due tomorrow. FML

#20144316
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22003) - you deserved it (5323)

On 11/02/2012 at 12:35pm - love - by lilithfaye (woman) - United States



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