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November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my daughter brought home her new boyfriend. He has a neck tattoo, and his life's dream is to be a professional "beer pong" player. FML

#20146654
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29155) - you deserved it (3344)

On 11/04/2012 at 1:30am - kids - by PleaseDontBeSerious - Canada

Today, I woke up with a vague memory of buying something last night while drunk. According to my credit card summary I made a $270 purchase from a home shopping channel. I guess in 5-7 days I'll find out what it was. FML

#20147165
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10557) - you deserved it (28739)

On 11/04/2012 at 11:37am - money - by fnfantastic - United States (Indiana)

Today, my cat was too overweight to get out of the litter box, so he gave up, and went to sleep. I had to pick him up out of his own waste and clean him up. FML

#20175044
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13512) - you deserved it (26726)

On 11/23/2012 at 10:10am - animals - by Jeanna S. - United States

Today, I was playing with my cat. I tried to put him on my stomach, but he refused to stay put. Ever since I lost weight, he won't lay with me or purr. I think my fat was the only thing he liked about me. FML

#20150645
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25542) - you deserved it (2800)

On 11/06/2012 at 3:27pm - animals - by creedonfied - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, someone stole my iPhone. I used the Find My iPhone app, and located it in the apartment building next to mine. I can hear the ringing sound I've activated, but nobody will answer the door. FML

#20163099
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25894) - you deserved it (1896)

On 11/14/2012 at 12:50pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to the Apple store to try and figure out what's going on with my iPhone. After an hour of speaking to three different geniuses and waiting around, their solution was to "Google it." FML

#20171869
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25133) - you deserved it (3755)

On 11/21/2012 at 12:42am - misc - by Jo - United States (California)

Today, my friends and I went out to dinner. Being short on cash, I suggested a game where we put our phones in the center of the table and first to check their phone had to pay the bill. Our conversation died out, and fearful of having an awkward silence, I checked my phone. FML

#20160706
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6918) - you deserved it (52753)

On 11/12/2012 at 5:08pm - money - by dgilbs - United States (Michigan)

Today, my mom had a tantrum and screamed at me over my use of bronzer. She called me a selfish bitch and claimed that I'm somehow slowly giving myself skin cancer. FML

#20176711
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14632) - you deserved it (16814)

On 11/24/2012 at 2:38pm - health - by Anonymous Cunt (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, while at work, a customer gave me a $20 tip. I explained to him we aren't allowed to accept tips, but he insisted. When I called the manager to report it, he pocketed my tip. FML

#20157115
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14409) - you deserved it (28817)

On 11/10/2012 at 2:23am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband came home drunk off his ass at 2am. He started crying on my shoulder because he couldn't go home with some beautiful woman who hit on him, because sadly for him, he's married to me. FML

#20157197
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33150) - you deserved it (2909)

On 11/10/2012 at 5:15am - love - by Helen - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my girlfriend of 6 months yelled at me for not comforting her while she was crying because her ex got a new girlfriend, and "it's just not fair." FML

#20169074
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33067) - you deserved it (2504)

On 11/19/2012 at 2:13am - love - by they've been broken up for a year. - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by waking him up with a blowjob, because he had always told me that it was a sexy fantasy of his. When he finally woke up, he got pissed off, rudely accused me of interrupting his beauty sleep, then soundly lay back down and fell asleep again. FML

#20169340
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38780) - you deserved it (4775)

On 11/19/2012 at 10:12am - intimacy - by nextcontestant16 - United States

Today, while sitting in a waiting room, a man assured me "The safety's on" after he handed his kid his BB gun. A minute later, I practically had a hole in my foot. FML

#20160435
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23262) - you deserved it (2802)

On 11/12/2012 at 1:12pm - health - by Emily - United States (California)



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