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November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had my wisdom teeth taken out. I vaguely remember telling the doctor that I'm a virgin. Several times. FML

#20169028
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17179) - you deserved it (1643)

On 11/19/2012 at 1:21am - health - by NOIDIDNOT (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my crazy bitch of a boss fired me for inappropriate conduct. Apparently my "fake Nazi accent" is "offensive to our Jewish coworkers." I'm German. I have no way to change the way I speak, or to pay this month's bills. FML

#20155705
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24976) - you deserved it (1080)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:02pm - work - by Screwed - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend of three years, whom I recently got engaged to, asked me to take a photo of my mother's boobs while she was sleeping so that he could see what mine would look like when I got older. FML

#20160220
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25481) - you deserved it (3060)

On 11/12/2012 at 8:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that my over-controlling parents would be moving in next door. I'm almost 23, and moved 5,365 KM away to get away from them. FML

#20142163
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23695) - you deserved it (1356)

On 10/31/2012 at 9:39pm - misc - by OhLovely (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was going to give my baby daughter an empty Pringles tin to play with on the floor. I saw some crumbs at the bottom, so I emptied the can in my mouth before I gave it to her. I crunched hard and spat them out, realizing my boyfriend had just cut his toenails into the can. FML

#20184636
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29249) - you deserved it (8468)

On 11/29/2012 at 10:00pm - misc - by lizzard0416 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and things started getting pretty hot. That is, until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow, I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML

#20154996
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12705) - you deserved it (22550)

On 11/08/2012 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by shit.... (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, my girlfriend looked me straight in the eye and said, "I know about the sea turtles." I asked her what she was talking about and she said, "Next time, shut up or I'll show you pain." I have no idea what she's talking about. FML

#20170012
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18048) - you deserved it (1711)

On 11/19/2012 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I looked up the side effects of the antidepressants I've recently started taking. Inability to orgasm is one of them. I can either not be depressed, or I can have an orgasm. FML

#20148960
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26600) - you deserved it (3527)

On 11/05/2012 at 2:25pm - intimacy - by HappinessOrOrgasms (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, a customer at the Walmart I work at had a hissy fit and began throwing merchandise everywhere, including at my face, because we are Canadian and don't have a show called "Extreme Couponing" for "devoted shoppers" like her. FML

#20181556
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14061) - you deserved it (956)

On 11/27/2012 at 6:46pm - work - by ohgodwhy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I caught my mother trying to switch my contraceptive pill for Tic Tacs. I don't know what's worse - how far she will go to have a grandchild, or that she thought I wouldn't notice that my birth control left me with minty fresh breath. FML

#20178576
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20703) - you deserved it (1343)

On 11/25/2012 at 6:36pm - misc - by Username (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, my best friend told me that I wasn't invited to her wedding, saying that I was too pretty and that I would outshine her at the ceremony. I laughed and said that she was being ridiculous. She eventually confessed the real reason why I wasn't invited: apparently I'm an annoying bitch. FML

#20152648
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12744) - you deserved it (20703)

On 11/07/2012 at 2:31am - misc - by no cake for me (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend decided to invite her best friend over for a threesome. This would've been the best day ever, had I not been at work while it was taking place. FML

#20150477
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33102) - you deserved it (3296)

On 11/06/2012 at 1:07pm - intimacy - by sadness1992 - United States (California)

Today, I was severely chewed out by my boss because, according to him, I look down on him too often. I'm 6ft5. FML

#20162604
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21597) - you deserved it (1466) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/13/2012 at 4:23pm - work - by makiju - Sent from mobile version



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