Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after finishing a test, I decided to draw to pass the time. My teacher looked at the drawing and gave me a referral to the principal for drawing an "anti-Semitic picture." I'd drawn Superman. FML

#20163905
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19787) - you deserved it (1577)

On 11/15/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Superman (man) - United States (California)

Today, after almost four years of having avoided her due to her hatred of my husband, my mother invited us both to a family dinner. My husband wanted to give her another chance, so we went. Less than an hour after arriving, I caught her hocking a loogie and spitting it into our food. FML

#20182910
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25085) - you deserved it (1572)

On 11/28/2012 at 6:04pm - love - by some things never change (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend decided to invite her best friend over for a threesome. This would've been the best day ever, had I not been at work while it was taking place. FML

#20150477
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37838) - you deserved it (3737)

On 11/06/2012 at 1:07pm - intimacy - by sadness1992 - United States (California)

Today, I realized why it's a bad idea to store your business cards and your "emergency condom" in the same handbag compartment. I realized this after a client watched me miss the cards and pull out the condom after our lunch meeting. FML

#20144136
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6465) - you deserved it (24320)

On 11/02/2012 at 7:35am - work - by Hornymuch (woman) - Germany

Today, yet again, my boss whined to me like a baby over being "friend-zoned" by his secretary. Not only does he basically stalk her and make her eat lunch with him every day, she's a lesbian in a committed relationship. He suspended me after I lost it and told him to see a fucking therapist. FML

#20165849
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29040) - you deserved it (5535)

On 11/16/2012 at 8:06pm - work - by wow @ creepy fuckers (man) - United States

Today, I was bitched out by my supervisor because of my lack of "customer service" skills. I work at a jail and all my "customers" are criminals. FML

#20152272
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22792) - you deserved it (4107)

On 11/07/2012 at 12:48am - work - by jailofc (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my father told me to take the car and get some groceries. An hour and a half later, coming home with the groceries, I see the cops all around my house because my dad had called them, thinking that I had run away and stolen the car. FML

#20159802
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24075) - you deserved it (1433)

On 11/11/2012 at 11:30pm - misc - by me - United States (Indiana)

Today, I have a final for my precalculus class. After hours of studying this week, I felt pretty optimistic. Until I got to class and realized that I'd forgotten my calculator. FML

#20172402
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21367) - you deserved it (6647)

On 11/21/2012 at 1:16pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I realized I'd put on my shirt on inside out, so I went to the bathroom stalls to fix it. As I was taking it off, I accidentally dropped it in the toilet. FML

#20169668
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27698) - you deserved it (5311)

On 11/19/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was at the library using a computer to order a package. A man sat down next to me mumbling to himself while staring at me. As I got up to go to the printer, he pointed at me and screamed, "I will burn you alive and enjoy it!" All of my info including my address was still on the computer screen. FML

#20161493
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22402) - you deserved it (4659)

On 11/13/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by sarahcurtis213 - United States

Today, while walking home, I really had to pee, so I decided to do my business in some high grass just off the street. When I got home, I felt an itch between my butt cheeks. I went to the bathroom to check it out, and a dead, apparently crushed spider fell out of my underwear. FML

#20147226
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18124) - you deserved it (11771)

On 11/04/2012 at 12:12pm - animals - by spiderwoman (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, I was so bored with my job at McDonald's that I actually hoped someone would come in and make a huge mess for me to clean. No one did. FML

#20173284
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19448) - you deserved it (3630)

On 11/22/2012 at 12:44am - work - by Ophelia - United States (New Mexico)

Today, after a year of living with my boyfriend at our new place, he told me that he wants to sell our house and live in a trailer, so he can be closer to his mom. FML

#20155172
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20840) - you deserved it (2221)

On 11/08/2012 at 4:22pm - misc - by Anonimo (woman) - Italy (Sardegna)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: