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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my husband was planning on getting me my favorite movie as an anniversary present; I ended up buying it. He had to give me the money and leave because he is severely arachnophobic and couldn't even pick up the box. I have to hide the movie for fear of it being destroyed. Again. FML

#20134119
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10358) - you deserved it (2715)

On 10/26/2012 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, she asked me to whisper her name. Apparently, her name is not Kate. FML

#20140315
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7020) - you deserved it (50212)

On 10/30/2012 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by you (man) - United Kingdom

Today, the power went out at school. If it's out for more than twenty minutes, standard procedure is to let us go home. They came back on almost nineteen minutes later. FML

#20118123
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19108) - you deserved it (2785)

On 10/15/2012 at 3:00pm - work - by anon - United States (Virginia)

Today, at work, my boss asked me why I wasn't adhering to proper dress code. I pointed out that skinny jeans are in the dress code, to which he replied, "Only if you're skinny." FML

#20102886
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16505) - you deserved it (8429)

On 10/05/2012 at 12:40pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my husband and I decided to tell our sixteen-year-old daughter that she's adopted. Her response was, "Thank God!" FML

#20123551
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19120) - you deserved it (4387)

On 10/19/2012 at 3:59am - kids - by best_mom_ever (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I walked in on my mother using a razor to shave my dad's cream-covered testicles. FML

#20122551
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18790) - you deserved it (1988)

On 10/18/2012 at 2:19pm - misc - by not as scarred as he should be (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my new roommate showed me to my room, which I got a good deal on. I noticed a big black spot on the floor in the walk-in closet. When I asked, he said his last roommate committed suicide and he didn't want to pay to have the carpets professionally cleaned, hence the "good deal." FML

#20113152
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20514) - you deserved it (1225)

On 10/12/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by Dino (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML

#20132312
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15259) - you deserved it (10484)

On 10/25/2012 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I tried to tell my best friend how wrong she is to be dating a married man, whose wife happens to be pregnant with their first child. Our talk ended with her calling me a "meddling, frigid bitch" and me being told this is why I can't get laid. FML

#20125357
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18849) - you deserved it (1626)

On 10/20/2012 at 2:50pm - misc - by Dillyduzit (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while shopping, an old man came up to me and told me I should be ashamed for walking around fake limping, and that it's horrible to mock people who actually limp from serious injuries. I wasn't faking, I was born without my right leg and I was getting used to my new prosthetic one. FML

#20119882
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24483) - you deserved it (834)

On 10/16/2012 at 5:44pm - misc - by Faker (woman) - United States

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

#20108644
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25692) - you deserved it (2425)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States

Today, I went to the surprise birthday party of an ex I still love, though I'm the one who ended things. I walked in in time to see her screaming "Yes" to her kneeling boyfriend, her parents crying and applauding, and her brothers patting him on the back. FML

#20110139
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6978) - you deserved it (32015)

On 10/10/2012 at 4:26am - love - by Toolate (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I discovered my son, who has recently moved out of our home, eating his dog's food. His excuse? He wanted the new Pokemon game, and "compromises had to be made". FML

#20122132
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14960) - you deserved it (1788)

On 10/18/2012 at 4:33am - kids - by anon - Australia



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