Today, I had sex with this guy I had been crushing on for five years. It took longer to put my clothes back on than he lasted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21331) - you deserved it (4081)
On 10/29/2012 at 4:49pm - intimacy - by le_evan - United States (California)
Today, I was talking to my girlfriend about extinct peoples, and I said how close the Jewish people came to becoming one. She condescendingly told me they don't exist anymore. When I asked what she was talking about, I realized she was confusing them with the Vikings. What the hell? FML
I agree, your life sucks (15393) - you deserved it (1908)
On 10/21/2012 at 12:00pm - misc - by tempted to become single (man) - United States (California)
Today, I jokingly asked my girlfriend what she got me for my half birthday, to which she replied "A baby." She was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8557) - you deserved it (16167)
On 10/29/2012 at 2:10pm - kids - by JiggaJayZ - United States
Today, my boyfriend learned how to somersault. He now thinks that he's a ninja and somersaults into every room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13938) - you deserved it (3034)
On 10/07/2012 at 10:20am - love - by justabitembarrassed - United States (Ohio)
Today, I walked in on my brother sticking his erect penis through a donut. I doubt I'll ever be able to unsee this. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24963) - you deserved it (1751)
On 10/12/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, during dinner, my daughter rudely cut into my conversation and gushed that she's "like, totally" going to audition for a reality TV show next year, after I pay her way. Five minutes into her jaw-dropping stupidity, I had to physically restrain myself from slapping her out of her chair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17022) - you deserved it (4125)
On 10/26/2012 at 8:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Solihull)
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He decided that the best time would be while I was giving him a blowjob. He then seemed confused as to why I didn't finish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24074) - you deserved it (2059)
On 10/13/2012 at 8:04am - intimacy - by notthebesttime -
Today, I saw on my 17-year-old daughter's floor her "To-Do" list. What was #1? Jump in front of a moving vehicle, in hopes that Edward Cullen will use his vampire speed to save her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23226) - you deserved it (2949)
On 10/04/2012 at 10:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, a woman stopped me and started chewing me out for wearing a pentagram necklace. I explained to her that is wasn't a pentagram, it was a Star of David. She continued chewing me out because apparently that still means I hate Jesus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16590) - you deserved it (1454)
On 10/01/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by raz (woman) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, I woke up to a gift from my boyfriend: a Playboy magazine with a Post-It note that said, "Just a reminder that you're easily replaceable." I think he's still mad at me for beating him on X-box. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19109) - you deserved it (2089)
On 10/28/2012 at 11:39pm - love - by becca (woman) - United States
Today, my college class was talking about Felix Baumgartner, who jumped from the edge of space down to earth. A boy suddenly put his head up and said in a serious tone, "I thought he jumped from the moon?" Several girls concurred. This is my generation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18206) - you deserved it (1193)
Today, after having loaned my girlfriend money after she claimed to be broke and unable to pay her rent and electricity bills, she went out, spent it all on a new purse and phone, and now refuses to pay me back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15220) - you deserved it (4175)
On 10/19/2012 at 1:05pm - money - by asparagus piss (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my 13-year-old son discovered Axe. Axe shower gel. Axe shampoo. Axe body spray. All at once. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20604) - you deserved it (1560)
On 10/24/2012 at 1:15am - kids - by BobsBabe2 - United States
Monday 17 June 2013
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