Today, I had my 7 month check up for my pregnancy. The nurse weighed me and said, "I see you've gotten into the Halloween candy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13761) - you deserved it (2321)
On 10/28/2012 at 9:53pm - health - by monkeylover996 (woman) - United States
Today, I found out that the landscaper my wife hired on my behalf wasn't kidding when he said he was going to trim my wife's bush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21678) - you deserved it (1543)
On 10/02/2012 at 8:04pm - intimacy - by praise the prenup (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was playing with my 2-year-old Siberian Husky, when she figured that since she couldn't get to my hand, she'd try to bite me in the genitals. She was successful. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13834) - you deserved it (2029)
On 10/23/2012 at 12:26pm - animals - by buccaneer - United States (New Jersey)
Today, it's my birthday. I spent $100 on myself, using it to set up an account so that my son can call me from jail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15068) - you deserved it (2322)
On 10/15/2012 at 9:10am - kids - by Reihna (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I fell down the stairs and landed heavily on my foot. Because I wasn't crying, my mom refused to take me to the hospital. It took me an hour of agony to convince her. It turned out to be broken in three different places. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18135) - you deserved it (1075)
On 10/02/2012 at 4:55pm - health - by ... - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I left the hospital after having knee surgery. While trying to find my balance on my crutches, I was holding onto the roof of the car. My mum slammed the car door shut, not noticing my hand. I can barely even bend my fingers to hold onto my crutches. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17245) - you deserved it (893)
On 10/07/2012 at 1:43am - health - by badluckbrianna (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, a one-eyed drunken homeless man followed me around the store I work at, screaming at me because I turned down his sexual advances. My managers and coworkers wouldn't kick him out because they thought it was funny. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18755) - you deserved it (1216)
On 10/16/2012 at 12:48am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)
Today, I used the phrase "bitch please" in real life. It was funny until the "bitch" bitch-slapped me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5616) - you deserved it (18859)
On 10/03/2012 at 11:14pm - misc - by staticman101 - United States (Michigan)
Today, my grandma took it upon herself to give me the sex talk. After explaining the mechanics in excessive detail, she said I shouldn't be afraid to sleep around. Apparently, I need to be comfortable with the man who'll be "conning me into blowing him for the next 50 years." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19104) - you deserved it (1930)
On 10/26/2012 at 1:58pm - intimacy - by fiftyshardsofbroccoli (woman) - United States
Today, I contemplated the ratio of cats I have to friends I have. I need more friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11633) - you deserved it (3432)
On 10/18/2012 at 1:33am - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, we got new seats in class today. The guy placed next to me, turned, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "The balls are the warmest place on the body" while his hands were in his pants. I'm stuck next to him for the rest of the semester. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15281) - you deserved it (930)
On 10/30/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, a classmate came up to me, quickly shoved a dollar bill down my shirt, threw her arms around me and told me to pretend I was her boyfriend to avoid some other guy. Sad thing is, this is the first girl I've hugged in ages. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16128) - you deserved it (1375)
On 10/04/2012 at 1:09am - love - by nonfreehugs (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my boyfriend and I went on a romantic date to a botanical garden in the hills. A giant bushfire erupted in the hills on our way, meaning we're now stuck out here because the roads are closed. So romantic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11517) - you deserved it (1655)
On 10/25/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by not even a sexy bushfire - Australia (Western Australia)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
