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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I'm going to be helping the love of my life pick out an engagement ring for my cousin. FML

#20107387
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30586) - you deserved it (3777)

On 10/08/2012 at 12:39pm - love - by unlucky - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized I'm so desperate for money that I started to watch Breaking Bad to learn how to make meth. I stopped, not because I decided it was a bad idea, but because it looks too hard. FML

#20130198
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8931) - you deserved it (26797)

On 10/23/2012 at 6:47pm - money - by Yo Mr. White! ... BETCH! - United States (California)

Today, I witnessed my mother-in-law reach into my wife's purse and practically empty it out into her pocket. When I confronted her and called my wife into the room, both of them accused me of lying through my teeth, because I've always hated her. FML

#20116821
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26845) - you deserved it (1823)

On 10/14/2012 at 4:57pm - money - by hate enough to kill... (man) - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, I bought professional hair clippers to shave down below, thinking it would be safer than using a razor. Let's just say the bathroom now looks like a murder scene, and it's going to be a while before I have sex again. FML

#20124733
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27690) - you deserved it (11717)

On 10/20/2012 at 12:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, a haunted house opened up next to my restaurant and they've gotten into the habit of scaring me as I'm cleaning up at night. They stay open for another month. FML

#20111545
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22254) - you deserved it (2012)

On 10/11/2012 at 1:28am - work - by Wolf145 - United States (California)

Today, I forgot to pay for my train ride for the first time. Today was also the first time I've ever seen transit security checking for people's tickets and kicking offenders off. FML

#20125823
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20832) - you deserved it (5119)

On 10/20/2012 at 9:59pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I have such bad diarrhea that every time I sneeze I poop. I've discovered it's very hard to run to the bathroom every time I feel the urge to sneeze. FML

#20103865
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21934) - you deserved it (1531)

On 10/06/2012 at 3:12am - health - by monkers - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was playing with my 2-year-old Siberian Husky, when she figured that since she couldn't get to my hand, she'd try to bite me in the genitals. She was successful. FML

#20129779
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21410) - you deserved it (3295)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:26pm - animals - by buccaneer - United States (New Jersey)

Today, we got new seats in class today. The guy placed next to me, turned, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "The balls are the warmest place on the body" while his hands were in his pants. I'm stuck next to him for the rest of the semester. FML

#20140711
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22698) - you deserved it (1666)

On 10/30/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mom screeched at me about my pillowcase being dirty and finished off one long rant with an irate "Who raised you to be such a pig?" Her anger multiplied by ten when I asked if it was a trick question. FML

#20098049
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22978) - you deserved it (7397)

On 10/02/2012 at 6:29am - misc - by kira (woman) - United States

Today, I contemplated the ratio of cats I have to friends I have. I need more friends. FML

#20122007
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16806) - you deserved it (4845)

On 10/18/2012 at 1:33am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the police searched my house because my neighbors thought we were aiming a gun with laser sight at them. We were only getting our daft dog to chase a laser light around; we don't even own any guns. FML

#20117729
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22260) - you deserved it (2504)

On 10/15/2012 at 4:33am - misc - by triple l (woman) - United States

Today, it's my birthday. I spent $100 on myself, using it to set up an account so that my son can call me from jail. FML

#20117850
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23841) - you deserved it (3830)

On 10/15/2012 at 9:10am - kids - by Reihna (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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