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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that my daughter has a hit list. There are over thirty names on there. My name is on it as well. FML

#20135128
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22050) - you deserved it (3388)

On 10/27/2012 at 3:20am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, a parent was too busy texting to notice her child had run in front of a moving truck. She did however see me grab the child's backpack to yank him back out of traffic. She then screamed at me for "manhandling" her child and demanded I be fired. It's not even my school; I'm a part time sub. FML

#20129237
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29021) - you deserved it (1347)

On 10/22/2012 at 11:51pm - work - by bad samaritan (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss fired me because of the way I laugh. Apparently it reminds him too much of his ex-wife's laugh. I'm a guy. FML

#20108910
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25259) - you deserved it (1966)

On 10/09/2012 at 9:57am - work - by Johnnogood (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my cat played dead just so I would leave him alone. FML

#20126149
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20021) - you deserved it (5551)

On 10/21/2012 at 1:59am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was walking with my boyfriend when a guy walked up to me and told me I look exactly like Taylor Swift. My boyfriend punched him in the face and told him that Taylor Swift is a lot more attractive. I'm actually considering leaving him for the complete stranger. FML

#20130143
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32725) - you deserved it (2847)

On 10/23/2012 at 6:12pm - misc - by jeanrose2013 - United States (Arkansas)

Today, after years of being terrified of those biscuit cans that pop when you unwrap them, I finally decided I'd open one myself. I'm sitting in the hospital with a sliced hand from the lid and can feel therapy in my future. FML

#20129768
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20722) - you deserved it (4042)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:01pm - misc - by afraidofcans - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mom called me from jail. She was arrested for having sex in public. I was with my dad when I got the call. FML

#20135378
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49753) - you deserved it (2612)

On 10/27/2012 at 11:02am - intimacy - by Monkey (man) - United States

Today, I was watching TV with my mom, when a plumbing ad came on. A hot guy showed up on-screen and said "I'm here to snake your drain." My mom immediately piped up with, "Oh, I'd let him snake my drain any day." Thanks for that imagery, mom. FML

#20101823
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20648) - you deserved it (2687)

On 10/04/2012 at 7:24pm - misc - by disgusted (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I realized that at age 54, I'm no longer young enough to go commando anymore. Every time I sneezed today, I peed myself. FML

#20102528
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18437) - you deserved it (11575)

On 10/05/2012 at 4:14am - health - by Darla (woman) - United States (California)

Today, for the second week in a row, my brother woke me up in the small hours of the morning begging me to help him figure out the math problem to turn off his phone's stupid-ass app alarm. FML

#20115354
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19730) - you deserved it (1588)

On 10/13/2012 at 6:25pm - misc - by fucking fratricidal (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I found out that my mom gives my brother tips on how to hurt my feelings the most. FML

#20107287
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29412) - you deserved it (1911)

On 10/08/2012 at 11:08am - misc - by LovedByFamily (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I found a ticket on my motorcycle for not parking in a designated spot. The space I had parked my bike in was occupied by a large van. Some asshole had moved my bike. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I made love for the first time. Before we left his house so he could walk me home, I fixed my hair by the hall mirror and joked about having serious sex hair. My boyfriend quickly reminded me that his incredibly religious mother was in the next room. FML

#20107434
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10369) - you deserved it (32170)

On 10/08/2012 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by blabbermouth (woman) - South Africa (Eastern Cape)



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  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

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