Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my cat played dead just so I would leave him alone. FML

#20126149
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21151) - you deserved it (5704)

On 10/21/2012 at 1:59am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend went to ask my dad for my hand in marriage. All I could make out from the door was mumbling, until profanities started flying. My boyfriend shouted "well she's a SINGLE bitch now!" and stormed out of the house. My dad still refuses to tell me what happened in there. FML

#20131535
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33795) - you deserved it (2121)

On 10/24/2012 at 5:08pm - love - by wtactualfuck :( (woman) - United States

Today, someone stole the massive pumpkin I've been painstakingly growing all year. What did they do with it? They put it in the middle of a busy intersection. FML

#20098412
122 comments

Today, I realized that at age 54, I'm no longer young enough to go commando anymore. Every time I sneezed today, I peed myself. FML

#20102528
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19451) - you deserved it (12058)

On 10/05/2012 at 4:14am - health - by Darla (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my wife confused terminology from my religion with stuff from Harry Potter. FML

#20127336
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12465) - you deserved it (19081)

On 10/21/2012 at 9:21pm - misc - by nickw177 (man) - United States

Today, my mom decided to wake me up by pouring ice cold water on my face. Again. FML

#20136629
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19314) - you deserved it (3831)

On 10/28/2012 at 6:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was watching TV with my mom, when a plumbing ad came on. A hot guy showed up on-screen and said "I'm here to snake your drain." My mom immediately piped up with, "Oh, I'd let him snake my drain any day." Thanks for that imagery, mom. FML

#20101823
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22816) - you deserved it (2915)

On 10/04/2012 at 7:24pm - misc - by disgusted (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, a cute girl sitting next to me asked if she could use my phone. As I handed it to her, I attempted to use the expression "knock yourself out," but for a reason I can still not fathom, it came out as "kill yourself." FML

#20120541
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27883) - you deserved it (7084)

On 10/17/2012 at 12:45am - misc - by Holy Testacles (man) - United States

Today, I was placed firmly in the friend-zone. By my wife. We've been married 10 years. She doesn't want a divorce, she says it'd be too "time-consuming." FML

#20111577
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30833) - you deserved it (2265)

On 10/11/2012 at 1:56am - love - by agh marriage (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out that my mom gives my brother tips on how to hurt my feelings the most. FML

#20107287
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31543) - you deserved it (2079)

On 10/08/2012 at 11:08am - misc - by LovedByFamily (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, my boyfriend told me he wants to break up. But not until after our anniversary tomorrow, because he's already gotten dinner reservations for us. FML

#20127937
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23444) - you deserved it (1598)

On 10/22/2012 at 5:01am - love - by reserved - United States (California)

Today, I found a notebook my 12-year-old sister had been doodling in. Turns out the "doodles" were poems full of obscenities and descriptions of how she wanted to hurt herself. When I showed it to my mom, she accused me of writing the notebook myself to frame my sister. FML

#20133698
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26700) - you deserved it (2130)

On 10/26/2012 at 12:38am - kids - by familyofpsychos - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was telling my co-workers about how I'd gotten tickets to a concert in a few days. My boss overheard. Later, he told me I now have to work on the night of the concert. However, he was kind enough to offer to buy the tickets off me for half of what I'd paid for them. FML

#20106327
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26758) - you deserved it (2364)

On 10/07/2012 at 8:09pm - work - by working_as_usual (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: